A Blind World

Today I write because there is something that is burning deep inside my chest. It’s the recent terrorist attacks on Paris, Nigeria and Mali. Men of flesh and bone are brutally slaughtered by other men made of the same flesh and bone. The reasons behind such occurrences are very complicated and self-contradictory. There are numerous terrorist or as I like to call it Anti-Human groups out there with a sole purpose to kill people; God knows what is that they want to achieve or prove. There may be many reasons for these groups for getting formed, some reasons may be self-knit and some reasons have been provided by some so called developed and civilized countries. I won’t get deep into what terrorist groups do because that is something that we all see on televisions and read in newspapers and also condemn it. My point here is that how humanity should respond to such anti-human threats. Recently a devastating threat on humanity was made when ISIS attacked the heart of France. It was a demonic act of hatred on the innocent people of Paris who lost their lives and their loved ones in the attacks. And how the people responded to the situation was so heroic and heartwarming. The people stood as one against the terrorist group giving them a strong message of Fearlessness. It was really the best act of humanity.

I was really amazed by such a reaction from the people. The people gave a really strong impression of their country. But soon after all this France dropped missiles on the state of Syria; followed by US and Russia. Some think that this was the correct step, it was justice. Well I have disagreements here. This retaliation, I call it terrorism too. Hatred can never be won with hatred. It may sound very philosophical but just imagine for a minute. Paris was attacked and many innocent people died, now when France blasted Syria what is the guarantee that only terrorists would have killed in the detonations. A bomb does not choose between good and bad, it is just a messenger of death which takes anyone who comes in its way. If you see, innocent children, women and men were killed in Paris attacks but the same happened when France attacked Syria. The same happened when US was on the quest to root off terrorism from the world by blasting Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and many more countries. They may have killed many terrorists but they also have the blood of innocent men, women and children on their hands. Humanity cannot be saved by killing a thousand terrorists for sure but humanity dies when an innocent life is lost. I strongly believe that earth is not made up of nations but nations are made inside earth. When we say our people, we mean the people of our community, our country and our religion. We need to get out of this narrow-mindedness. When we say our people, we should mean the entire human race. If the same scenario continues and if we keep on killing innocents on the name of retaliation and justice, we will end our species one day.

The world is made up of love and peace. We should respect the fact and live by it. There are the normal people of Paris who proved it on the night of the attacks. I read an open letter from a man to ISIS which read that he won’t let the terrorists have his hatred because they don’t deserve it. He wrote that that he’ll just ignore those inglorious rascals and move on with his life and try to make the world a better place. Now this is what I call a real man, not the ones who attacked Paris or not even the ones who ordered bombings on Syria.

Mahatma Gandhi said that an Eye for an Eye makes the whole world blind. Today I can totally relate to the fact. Where the world on one side is moaning for Paris and supporting them, there are the normal people of Syria who are deprived of basic human requirements and also are being looked upon as a black mark on the society, as if a mother’s womb gives birth to a terrorist. The world needs to change, change for the good, change for the sake of humanity. And to achieve this we should get over the mindset of being of a community. Above everything we should look upon ourselves as a race, the human race. After all we are nothing but star dust in this vast universe.

by Ambuj

Pages from a Father's Journal

Blessed!!

Oh God! I can’t thank you enough for being too generous to me. Today you gave me your best blessings by making me the fortunate father of this beautiful child. I can’t really thank you enough for this best gift ever. He looks so cute, he fits into my hands. He is so beautiful and fragile. His skin is so soft; I think rose petals must be harder than his creamy skin. His face! It is so radiant; I just can’t take my eyes off his face. His little eyes barely open, but I don’t know why I can see my entire future in them. His squishy nose looks like a little fluffy bun. His lips look like pieces of cherry and his cheeks, Oh God! They are like two soft wool balls, the nurse keeps on telling me not to touch them but I can’t resist from kissing his cheeks. I also took him in my arms. He was looking at me as if he knows me, as if he knows that we share common blood and as if he knows that he is a part of me. I just can’t let him off my sight. I don’t feel hungry or sleepy; I just want to be with him, always! Oh God! I can’t get over with it, am I going crazy with happiness?

Happy days keep on coming!

He has started responding to sound. He recognizes sounds and people, he laughs and crawls and plays with me. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but he loves riding on my back. He is an angel. I hold his hand and try to teach him walk. He is so responsive! He holds my finger tight and tries hard to walk on his feet. He is adorable. I feel bad when he falls and cries, it makes my eyes wet but I know that he must learn to get up. I just love him like crazy!

First step

My son is now going to school, I am really happy. His teachers say that he is really bright in studies and other activities. I and my wife keep on discussing that how cue he looks in that little school uniform. Things are going great God; please let it be the same forever. Bless my son; help him be a better man than his father. He has a lot of potential, I can see that.

Anything for you

My son is growing up now. He understands things; he goes to school, eats on his own, does his homework on his own and manages his chores himself. He is making me a proud father. He has also started making demands now… Hahaha! He sees new things on the television and new toys that his friends have and demands the same from me. Sometimes it is difficult to manage the budget though! My wife sometime tells me that I should not fulfill all his demands, even I feel the same sometimes but then I recall my childhood. I didn’t get a lot of things that I deserved or needed as a child, may be the circumstances were not good then. But today I won’t let my child follow the same fate as mine. So what if I have to cancel my personal shopping expenses?  The old scooter is not that bad yet; a few services would make it fit for the go, I don’t need a car yet! So what my wife and I had to cancel our holiday plans on our anniversary? We have had many anniversaries but we have only one child. Nothing is more important than the smile on your face son. You live your life to the fullest son, which is all I desire. I love you!

Hiccups

Why is this happening God? What wrong have we done? Everything was going fine; my son was a bright kid, why is he loosing focus now? He is not doing well at school. His teachers tell me that he holds a lot of potential but he is very careless. I spoke to him several times on this topic, but the matter of fact is that he himself doesn’t know what is going wrong. What shall I do to bring him back on the right track? I am so confused and tensed. I know that he is not into any bad habits, but why is he going astray? Please show us the right path, please point him to the correct direction

Find Your World

He is all grown up now. He or shall I say we learnt the solutions to my son’s problems with time. I now understand that they were passing clouds. I can now see the silver lining bright and clear. My son is becoming a man now, he is going to college. He is going to follow his passion and make his own world. What could be more delightful for me than this? Although it is difficult to manage his expenses now but I want to accompany him as far as possible! I want him to be proud of me being his father as I am proud of him being my son. He is happy, but I can see the sadness behind his smiling face. The sadness is of going away from us. He knows that there is no turning back from where he is standing. He knows that now he will have to bid goodbye to his home. I can see the sadness that he holds in his eyes. He thinks that he can dodge me by putting a smile on his puppy face. Son! Don’t be mistaken, I am your father. I have known you more than you have known yourself. There’s no shame in being sad, it shows that how much you love us and your smile, it shows that how tuff you are. Go live your dreams; be happy, I am always there for you. And the sadness in your eyes, Son I share the same in my heart.

Fly High

Thank you God! It’s all your grace that my son got his dream job. He is a working man now. His hard work paid off. I am happy for him. I can see my success in his achievements. His one step towards success is like my leap towards serenity.  I can now see my reflection in him. It has always been there but now, it’s crystal clear. The way he thinks, talks, eats, sleeps, makes his bed are so similar to my ways. I feel as if I am living a second life. I feel like God has gifted me my twenties back to achieve a little more and live life once again. I spend sleepless nights when he is coming to visit us the next day. I often wonder that isn’t this the same feeling that I experienced when he was about to be born? He is like a best friend to me where I don’t need to speak anything for him to understand. This bond has now grown from being a blood relation, this bond is now serene, it’s sacred and it’s above what words can explain. I love you son and I know that you love me too! I see myself in you and I pray that one day your child gives you the same pleasure so that you can understand how blessed I am to have you as my child.

by - Ambuj

The Invention of Apology

In the ancient times, the world was not as organized and cultured as we see it today. There was no code of conduct that humans would follow. It was sheer chaos. Riots, violence and non-compliance were everywhere. The people were not happy with this state of chaos and wanted to get rid of it but it was of no use. No matter how deeply and intensely two people loved each other they would finally end up fighting and getting separated. They would get this urge, this zeal to finish the quarrel but it would never happen. They were genetically built up this way. Two people would fall in love and then fight and separate due to disagreements. Things were really bad, as the population was increasing and the quarrels were changing to battles and humanity was suffering as a whole.

When all this was happening, far away in the Indus valley a group of saints were trying to find a cure for this disease of intolerance and defiance. Decades passed but they were not able to find the cure. Humanity on the other hand was on the verge of extinction. The saints knew that whatever they had to do, they had to do it fast. They were running short of time. The High-saint smelled the risk of extinction and decided to travel to the Himalayas with two of his disciples, Kshama and Daata. Kshama was a naughty young boy but was intellectually very smart whereas Daata was a healthy boy with a solid built but was very short tempered. Kshama could master difficult looking tasks with his brains whereas Daata would break huge objects with his bare hands. The only reason the high-saint took them as accomplices was because of their unique abilities, Kshama for his intellect and Daata for his strength.

While they were half the way to the top of the Himalayas, the three of them decided to take rest. While Daata was sleeping Kshama was disturbing him. He would just poke him and run and would laugh when Daata would ask him not to do so. The high-saint was observing this very closely. He was sure that eventually Daata would lose his cool and wanted to see that how would Kshama handle the situation. It was not long when Daata really got furious on Kshama. He slapped Kshama so hard that he almost fainted, but Daata would not stop. He was again going to hit Kshama who was already down when Kshama joined his hands and in a very deep voice said the words, “Kshama... Kshama… Kshama…”  The high-saint was surprised to see that Daata has stopped his hand in the air, he was not hitting Kshama but he helped Kshama get up. The high-saint was just amazed to see the power of the feeling, the sheer utter of the word ‘Kshama’ saved Kshama from the wrath of Daata. This is when the high-saint realized that the world can be won and turned into a better place with this compassionate feeling. Kshama and Daata were friends but they started fighting as per their genetic engineering, but the feelings put by Kshama in his own name empowered the single word so much that it cleared the anger and reinstated the friendship between Daata and Kshama. The high-saint and his two accomplices then went to the top of the Himalayas to master this feeling. Upon their return they taught the usage of this compassion to the world and it resulted in the restoration of love and harmony in the world.

Today also many times we have quarrels with our loved ones. Many times we think, OK now this is it! I am not gonna see his face for the rest of my life. But the urge of togetherness pushes us to apologize and we end up making things right just by saying 3 words – ‘I am SORRY!’. Apologizing to someone and accepting someone’s apology is the greatest sense that man has ever mastered. It brings people closer and makes you feel light.

So guys, don’t be afraid to apologize to someone, it makes you bigger in their heart. And don’t be a miser in accepting apologies as it makes you bigger in your own heart!

by Ambuj

Incomplete Story

Both of them were working in the same organisation. He was mesmerized the first time that he saw her. He would wait for hours every day just to have a glimpse of her. Her dense and shiny hair, her hypnotic eyes, her beautiful face and her impeccably carved body. All these would relieve him from all his worries. He passed by her side just to let a little of her fragrance into his head through his nostrils. He would get high just by a sight of her beauty. He admired her beauty but never admitted the real feelings behind that.
Days passed into weeks and weeks into months and months to years, but he was not able to become something more than a secret admirer. Finally the day had come when he had to leave that city where they both lived. He had to move on. He had no choice, just an inexplicable pain in his heart, the guilt, the guilt of leaving something unfinished, something incomplete. But he thought in his mind that this is life and he has to move on.
But wait... Life ain't that bad. Life gave him a chance. Life gave them a chance... She called him... Yes! The same girl that he had secretly desired for days! She called him! She told him that what he really meant to her. She told him that how desperately she wanted him from the past years. She told him that he meant a lot to her. She told him how deeply she had desired him. She told him how she used to wait for a single sight of him. She told him that how her friends used to tease her on his name. She told him that what dreams she had seen for the both of them. Yes she did! She was strong enough to confess... May be on the last moment but yes she did!
The boy was on the seventh sky. He was happy but couldn't show that to her. They started talking. Although being in different cities they talked a lot. Things were really beautiful when he realized that his girl was getting herself too much involved in this love. He was scared, not because he didn't love her but because his past experiences were too cold. He didn't want to feel the pain of a failed love once again. The girl was a new and free bird in the skies of love but he was a bird who had already lost his wings. He was too afraid to take that leap. And then he started pushing her away. He hurt her and himself by being so scared and being so dumb! Again his mistakes took her away from him. And again he was alone! He still can't understand that was he right in doing what he did or not; and now life has moved on and he is still on his quest to find the conclusion to his incomplete story.

by Ambuj

Feel the Feelings

After a certain age we make our own life with our own hands. We all live our lives. We do things to make ourselves happy. That happiness may come directly because something good just happened to ourselves or may come indirectly by seeing some loved one happy. In our life our actions have some consequences on the universe which gradually cascade to our personal life. These little emotions are stored in our minds forever. We can remember and feel them whenever we really want to. I still remember the feeling of holding my first paycheck in my hands, Oh God! The feeling was incredible. And I am very sure that you must also have such memorable moments that you want to live over and over again.

But have you ever thought what would it fell like to live someone else’s life? Have you ever thought that how would it actually feel to experience the memories of other people? I really fantasize about it. Just imagine, if humans had the capability to see the world from the perspective of other people, the world would have been different. We would have been capable of understanding each other better and hence behaving accordingly. Things would have been smooth that way.

Anyways, I don’t wish to throw a psychology lesson today but I want to share one item out of my wish list. The things that I would like to feel if we had the ability to experience the feelings of other people exactly in the same manner that they did:

·         How my mother felt when I came into this world.

·         How my father felt on holding me in his arms for the very first time.

·         How my parents felt when I broke my shoulder and got plastered for the very first time.

·         How my parents felt when they sent me to school for the very first time.

·        How my father felt when I boarded a wrong bus from school and was lost.

·         How my parents felt when I sang a group song in the school annual day function for the first time.

·         How my father felt when I failed in a subject and my teacher gave him a warning that his son was not doing good in class.

·         How my mother felt in all those sleepless nights when I had migraine pain.

·         How my father felt when he left me in the hostel for the first time and went back home alone.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I proposed to her.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I told her that I wanted to marry her and be with her forever.

·         How my parents and bhaiya felt when I got my first job.

·         How my parents felt when I moved to Chennai for my job.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I moved to Chennai and got too busy in my new world that was not able to give enough time to her.

·         How my little sister and parents felt when I got them presents from my first salary.

·         How my parents, bhaiya and girlfriend felt when I got a new job in Gurgaon and was coming near home.

       

      Oh God! Only if I would have been able to experience these feelings… Life would have been so fulfilled…

Please comment what is that you want to feel from someone else’s life!

by Ambuj

The Rainy Friday

It was a Friday evening. I was just about to leave from my office when I got call from my Bhaiya. I spend most of my weekends at bhaiyas's place. It gives me a family feeling while staying away from home. It's heartwarming. This Friday was also one of those Fridays where Bhaiya invited me to his place. The plan was ad-hoc so I had to first go to my RENTED ACCOMMODATION to pick-up my belongings. I reached my PG and was packing my backpack when it started raining heavily. I waited for around 15 minutes hoping that the water in the sky tanks would finish but sadly that wasn't happening. Then I finally decided to step out in the rain with my umbrella as my savior. I walked in the heavy rain so that I could catch an auto which would eventually drop me at the metro station. I finally reached the highway and there came an auto, it stopped in front of me.

I asked the auto driver, "How much till Huda City Center?"

Auto driver replied, "90 Rupees sir."

It came as a shock to me. "90 Rupees!", I said, "Are you out of your mind? It takes 50 bucks till Huda City Center. Do you think I am new here?"

Auto driver replied, "Sir it’s raining! The roads are flooded! What to do?"

I said, "Then what? 60 are fine."

Auto driver was not happy with the deal but he somehow agreed on the condition that he would take one more passenger if he gets one on the road. I was fine with this and we moved.

The roads were really flooded and I was thinking that what the fuck is wrong with our government? Where the public money is going if a 30 minutes rain can flood the roads? While I was busy acting a responsible citizen on the backseat of the auto the auto driver found one more passenger on the side of the road. He stopped. The person was a dark complexioned guy and was completely wet in the rain. 

He asked the auto driver, "Metro?"

Auto driver replied, "50 Rupees sir."

He said, "No! 40."

I was surprised to see that even in that condition the guy was arguing for 10 bucks. Anyhow the auto driver agreed and that person joined me on the back seat. I looked at the guy and he looked like a Tamil guy. I have a lot of love and respect for Chennai and its people. I wanted to hold myself but I failed and finally asked him, 

"Where are you from?"

He replied, "Chennai."

Wow! This is what I wanted to hear. There was a sudden shine on my face. May be the Tamil guy was a little baffled by my reaction but that didn't affect me in any way. 

I still continued with the conversation, "Hi! I am Ambuj. What's your name?"

"Rajkishan.", He said.

I again threw a question at him, "Where do you live in Chennai?"

"Tambram.", He replied.

I said, "Oh... Chennai is a beautiful place; I was working in Chennai for around 3 years. I love the place and the people."

This made the conversation a little light for Rajkishan and he started taking interest in the conversation.

"So where were you working there?” Rajkishan said.

I quickly replied "I was working with Standard Chartered Bank." 

Talking about my previous employer made me feel so proud. This started our actual conversation. We spoke about our jobs, our salaries, the Gurgaon weather, our families, Chennai, Delhi and lot many things.

We were about 5 minutes away from the metro station when we got stuck in the traffic. I and Rajkishan decided to walk to the station rather than sitting and waiting. I had an umbrella so we both shared it and reached the station. It was a pleasant meeting. We both were happy that we spoke and thus we made our final pleasantries and parted ways.

The conversation just lasted for 20-25 minutes but it made me so happy and made me think about that person while travelling in the metro. It is so strange that the people with whom we spend a few minutes touch our lives so closely whereas sometimes we don't even speak to certain people whom we have known from years. Life is short; we should talk to people, make friends, and make good memories because this is all that matters. After-all we are nothing but social animals.

by Ambuj...

The LOVE Walk

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! It’s a brand new dayyyyy…. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Everything’s todayyyy….!” .

Oh God! Not again. Why does this morning alarm has to go off every day at 7:00AM? Can’t it make some mistake? Damn this mobile phone! I would have had a 0.99% chance of sleeping till late if the batteries of my alarm clock would have burned out. But this mobile phone took that away from me! Screw you Nokia! Screw you!

This is what I was thinking while laying down on my hostel bed when I suddenly realized that too much thinking could deprive me of a hot shower as my fellow inmates would finish the hot water in the tank by then. With all my strength, courage and will power I pulled myself out of my bed, it was 7:45AM by then and I just rushed to the bathroom area. It took me approximately 17 minutes to go to loo, brush my teeth and take a bath. Sometimes I would wake up at 8:50AM and be there in my classroom attending the 9:00AM class. Yeah! This is the superpower that you get after paying the huge amount of hostel fees! Off course I mean, your dad pays the fees and you get the superpower! Fair enough!

I was a new fish in the college so I reached the college early that day. It was a practical class of 1 hour and 30 minutes. I guess I was a bit too early that day as there were barely one or two students on the floor and the computer labs were not yet open. I was standing alone beside the huge window on the first floor and thinking some random stuff when I saw a white blur appearing from college cafeteria. It was a girl walking from the college cafeteria towards the academic building. It was actually a group of people but all I could notice was a beautiful girl with a cup of coffee in one hand and a couple of notebooks in another. She was wearing a white top, a blue denim jeans and a pair of white belly. I could see her kissing the coffee cup again and again as she was having that hot coffee sip by sip in the freezing cold weather. The cold winter breeze was waving her smooth hair in the air. She tried to adjust her waiving hair behind her right ear but the notebooks did not allow her to do so. I thank Goddess Saraswati for that. I don’t have a habit of staring at people but this girl just didn’t allow me to take my eyes off her. I was not able to look somewhere else even after trying. She had me spell bounded.

“Oh boy!”,  I said.

 I never realized when these words came out of my mouth. I simply cannot understand or explain that moment when she accidentally looked on the window where I was standing. She looked at me, she noticed me looking at her, and then she again looked at me for a while. The gape of a few micro seconds lasted for too long. Then she just broke the eye contact and moved ahead to enter the academic building. She was out of my sight but I still was not able to get over the hang over that she gave me in the past few minutes. I was standing inside the building but was feeling as if I had walked the distance from the cafeteria to the academic building with her. I don’t know why but I wanted to walk with her, more, more and a little more. There was something unexplainable that I felt, something that even I was not able to understand, something that was supposed to last for a life time, something that didn’t end with those few passing minutes, something that was just a beginning. 

-by Ambuj

My Oath...

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." - Mahatma Gandhi

We all have read these lines in our schools. For me these were just 2 lines from some random guy which I crammed and wrote in the exam for 2 marks. I was in my third grade at that time and getting 2 marks in an exam was much more important for me then promoting non-violence in the world. Like most of the good learning from school I forgot these lines too, until life taught me that what this really meant.

The day was 26 May 2015. My phone rang; it was 4:00 AM in the morning. It was my cousin brother; I didn't expect good news at this hour when he informed me that our Buai Ji (Uncle) had passed away. It was a completely unexpected and heart breaking news. We decided to leave for home at that very moment. We drove for the whole day and reached our late uncle's home in the evening only to witness the state of melancholy. Everyone was devastated from the unexpected demise of our uncle. It was heart breaking. Somehow I gathered strength only to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I looked up towards the sky in order to contain the tears in my eyes. We tried to console our poor aunt but in our hearts we all knew that it was not going to work, but we still did it because it was the only thing in this world we could have done at that time.

 Anyways, time had played its course. Everyone born has to leave the world one day. Next day the cremation of the body was done by my cousins, Rakesh and Rupesh (the sons of the late uncle). Then they had to take the ashes of their father to Haridwar for the final set of rituals. We had their bus ticket confirmed and they were supposed to board the bus in the evening at 4:00 PM. The bus came as scheduled and we were escorting my cousins to the bus. Rakesh was about to get in the bus when some tourists pushed him back in order to board the bus first. Ishu, one off my other cousin asked the tourist to let Rakesh get in first and in return one of the tourists said something abusive. It wasn't late when I saw a quarrel had just started in front of my eyes. I was not in the favor of this hand to hand combat and I went forward in order to separate the two parties. I had just reached near the bus when a man came and punched me out of nowhere. I still trying to be submissive, I pushed that man back without hitting him again with the intention to stop the quarrel. It was too late; I could see all the tourists charging on the six of us. I was desperately looking for my dad when I saw a man holding him from back and another one hitting him on his face. That was the first time in my life when I felt what anger was and what the meaning of unleashing the monster within is. I ran to my dad, I punched the man who was holding him from back so hard that he fell down. I then grabbed the one who was punching him and I don’t know what I did to him. The next five minutes was a black out for me.

The next thing that I remember was that I was standing near the bus and the submissive me was back. I was again trying to cool down the fight. I saw my father inside the bus and he was scolding the person who started the quarrel. I also went inside the bus when I saw the same person who was hitting my dad hiding on the back seat. I again lost myself, I rushed towards that guy abusing and blindly started hitting him non-stop on his neck. He was almost unconscious when my elder brother stopped me. I was still not done with him and I pulled him down the bus punching and kicking the shit out of him. I only stopped when finally there was no energy left in me.

The police had arrived, everything was quite now. We put in our side of the story and so did the tourists, but the police believed us based upon the witness given by the localities in our favor. The police then deported the goons from the bus and arrested them. They were taken to the police station and were left only when they apologized to us and signed an affidavit saying that no harm will be done to Rakesh and Rupesh who were already gone by that time in the bus.

All said and done we were back at home. The same things were going on in my mind. I was tired because of the fight but was not able to sleep. I was confident that the opposite party was the culprit but I was unsure whether I was right in punishing them so bad or not. I was feeling guilty; I was not able to sleep that night. I kept on turning sides on the bed thinking that my hands are paining by hitting them, what affect the beating would have done to that poor guy whom I bet so mercilessly. My blood was cold at that time but I was able to think more clearly. The face of that MAN was now clear in my mind. He was not a man… He was a boy, a college going boy I guess. He must have been a year or two younger to me. I know he was wrong in hitting a person of his dad’s age, but was I right in hitting him back and that too so relentlessly? I was cold! Real cold! My dad never taught me this, I tried to help him but by breaking the ethics that he had taught me. I was feeling so shameful on my heinous act. I still feel the excruciating pain of my act. I still have too many questions in my mind for which I think I don’t have any answers. But that very night I took a oath in my heart that this will never happen again. Never ever ever again! This is not who I am, violence doesn’t define a man. A courageous man is smart enough to find out solutions without violence. I want to be that man and will work hard to be one. For me that was the first day I ever used violence and that was the last day too!

by Ambuj

The Chosen Family

The Chosen Family

4th October 2009... This is the day when I met two of the favorite people of my life. Autumn had just started and the hot winds were turning into cool breeze. Though I loved this season the most but this year it was different. I was sad and unhappy. The reason... I had got admission into an engineering college and I had to leave home and move to Chandigarh for my education. I was a little nervous about staying at the hostel because of the scary hostel myths that every freshmen fears. But more than the fear of a new place I was more dejected of the fact that I was about to leave home and my parents. Finally the big day came, my dad woke me up and asked me to buckle up as we had an early morning bus to catch. I can still remember that day, I woke up from a sleepless night. I was so anxious the previous night that the whole night I could feel my heart beating , loud and clear. Mom packed the lunch and we were on the go. We reached at my hostel in the evening where my dad gave me his blessings and bid me goodbye with a heavy heart. It was a hard moment for both of us. I kept standing on the road until his cab disappeared from my sight. That was the first time I saw moisture in my superman's eyes. It was painful! 

I went upstairs to my room and met Ravish. He seemed a little introvert but overall he was nice. We went on a tea talked a bit and returned to our room only to find that we had our first beggar case. Yes, beggar case! While your stay in a hostel you find ample of people who ask for your stuff. Bear in mind, a thing once lent in a hostel has 0.009% chances of being returned. This beggar had come for my bucket. Though I gave him that but I was afraid that I would never see that bucket again. Now the fun fact is that the bucket came back but not alone, the person who lent the bucket also came with it. He shifted in our room! His name was Rahul. At first I and Ravish were not happy of him being in our room because Rahul seemed a little loud but later we figured out that he was the last spoke to our wheel. We became the closest friends that mankind has ever seen and for the record, Rahul proved out to be more of a giver than a beggar. Me, Ravish and Rahul... We were a band now. We were reckless, we were adamant, we were witty and we were crazy. It was no longer when everyone in the hostel realized that room number #37 belonged to the Satan because Ambuj, Ravish and Rahul lived there. We were like a fist which once joined used to take down any opponent with our wits. We did all sort of things that a person can and cannot imagine. We had a fun of a lifetime. 

We laughed, we cried, we danced, we wandered, we fought and we made-up with one another, but we never gave up. No matter how immature we were then but we stood up for one another and never gave up on one another. No matter how bad the things went amongst us but we always knew how to move on with just the good that all three of us had made together. We agreed to disagree but never let the disagreements hamper our relationship.  I guess this is what the magic of friendship is. I guess this is what a family is.

Now when I turn the pages of my life exactly 5 years and 8 months back, I realize that I left my family home on 4th October 2009 but I also made a new family on the very same day. I guess this is how life works, you fall in love with the people who show you the reflection of your own self in their eyes and the clearer the image the stronger is the relation with that person. And when you say friends… this is the one family that you can choose...

by Ambuj

Bank of Karma

Bank of Karma

Meanwhile in Lord Brahma's office...

Soul care executive, "Hiee! This is angel number #AG143 calling from Lord Brahma's office. Am I talking to soul number #SL007?"

Scared soul #SL007 replies, "Hello... Soul number #SL007 speaking."

#AG143 continues, "Sir, this call is in regards to your lease period on the heaven. We would like to inform you that your lease period on the heaven is about to expire..."

#SL007 interrupts, "Ma'am it has to be a mistake! It has not been much time since I have been staying at heaven. Kindly re-check."

#AG143 checks and replies, "Sir, we have re-verified with the Bank of Karma and we have a balance sheet of your Karmas with us .Chitragupta has calculated your stay in the heaven with respect to all  your good Karmas in your previous life. Hence we are sorry to inform you that your stay in the heaven has come to an end and you will be flying to earth in a time of seven days."

Confused #SL007 says, "No wait.. please hold on... This cannot be possible."

#AG143, this time in a heavy voice replies, "Sir, all good things come to an end, you being a pure soul in all should understand this. Every single entity in whole of this universe is moving, nothing is stationary. Similarly you also need to keep on moving. Also, here or anywhere, nothing comes for free, you need to earn your place by yourself. Go to earth earn some good Karmas and we'll be happy to have you back, and when your period ends you will have to return and earn more good Karmas. Not to mention bad Karmas can also lead you to the fires of hell. Being there can be even worse than being down there on the earth, I can assure you that." 

Still scared #SL007 replies, "#AG143, I am aware of all this stuff but the thing is I am afraid... I am afraid that that how will I fit myself again in that materialistic world. Life, goals, relations..phewww... how will I be able to handle all that stuff when I already know that all that matters is Karma!"

#AG143 smiles, "#SL007, I have known you for centuries and that's why am giving you a personal advice. All the things you just called materialistic, they give you strength in your humanly life. 

Your life, it gives you an opportunity to fill in your Bank of Karma account with lots of good Karmas. 

Your goals, they are the driving factor for you, without them you wont survive a minute on earth, you will perish without any goals as these goals differ human life from other forms of life. 

And finally your relations, these are the people who will make a hard life on earth easy for you. They will support you, motivate you and guide you from the streets of nothingness to the halls of greatness. So my friend do not be afraid, all these setups that may seem irrelevant and crazy at times are a part of the master plan that almighty has made to make the world a great and a wonderful place."

#SL007 now more convinced and as ready and enthusiastic as a kid replies, "Thanks for the help #AG143, you made me relearn the things that were long forgotten. I am now ready to go and play my part in the master plan of God! See you after 55-60 years. I have heard that down on earth humans cannot sustain more than these many years now. See you soon! Please forward my itinerary I will acknowledge it."

#AG143 says, "Good decision #SL007, or else on my escalation Lord Shiva would have burnt you down to ashes with his third eye! I will forward you the itineary by EOD. See you soon #SL007 as you were right on the average age part! Godspeed!"

by Ambuj

Heaven of my Dreams

Heaven of my Dreams 

It was the year of 2009. Probably my final days in my hometown. I was standing alone at the roof of my house, cold winds were shivering my soul. Lost in the maze of my own making I was just running back in time, thinking how much I loved being there... There was no specific thing that I loved about my hometown. I loved the people around me, I just loved being around my parents. I loved the nature which surrounded me. I loved every morning as the first thing that I heard was chirping of the house sparrows. I loved those little angelic beings flying in and out of my house. But the most of all  I loved standing on the roof of my home and feeling the cold winds just passing through my soul. Priceless! While I was reliving the most beautiful memories of my life, one thought passed through my mind that stole away the bliss from me. The thought was of leaving home... Leaving everything I loved and moving on to the next phase of my life. Moving on to a world that was completely alien. Moving own and making a name in the world which never mattered to me. It is inexplicable that how much I wanted to stop but that is what we all are taught.. to move on. I did the same, I moved on.

Today it has been 6 years since I have left the heaven of my dreams. I have now learnt how to catch pace with this new world. I have proved myself worthy to this world. I have proved that I am fit for surviving in this world. Life is going normal now, I have adapted to this new world of mine. But sometimes I wonder, is this the world where I belong? Do I need to prove myself worthy in front of this world where I am just a number? Is this world worthy enough to have me in it? Have I been an altruist which I should have been to my own world or have I just taken from it? Am I happy in this new alien world? And the most important question, I  am surviving well in this world but am I living? I deserve to live or to survive?  Millions of questions and every time my heart tells me that the answer to all my questions in HOME! The world where my heart is, the world where I belong and the world which  loves me as dearly I love it.

I now know the answer to all my questions but I haven't been able to reach for it. I am afraid... I fear a million things... a million things hold me back. I want to cut loose from these strings and I strongly believe that it will happen one day. One day I will be back to the world which holds me dear. One day life will be a bliss and not a survival. One day I'll be happy again... One day I shall be free....

by Ambuj