SHY GUY

in continuation to 'The Love Walk' - http://caravanchala.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-love-walk.html 

SHY GUY

The girl in the shining white dress had disappeared from my sight as she entered the college building. Although she was gone but I was still standing at that huge window and I was frozen there. My mind was blank and all my will to enter the classroom was gone. Other students had started gathering in the classroom but I was still standing there on the window hoping that she would pass by again. Unfortunately that did not happen and I decided to go to the class. I entered the classroom which was actually my first class of my college life. It was my first day so I didn’t know anyone. I just entered and was looking for a vacant seat when I felt as if someone was looking at me. I turned in order to see who it was. And to my surprise it was the same girl, the girl in the white dress. She caught my eyes, she was looking and me and I couldn’t help myself but just stare at her. It felt as if an eternity has passed and our eyes were still in contact. She lowered her eyes. Oh boy! At that gesture of hers I guess something clicked inside of me.  I looked for a seat and sat down.  The class was going on but I was still thinking about her. How could I possibly be so much attracted to her on the first day that I saw her? So many thoughts were rushing into my mind. I would just give a glance towards her while in the class just to figure out if she was looking at me or not. Never had I ever felt this way. The class ended and I waited for everyone else to leave so that I can see her while she went out.  I was sitting there on my chair and she gave me a glance just before stepping out of the door. Again that split second felt like an age.

College picked up pace and this thing between us kept on happening. I would wait for the night to end and the classes to begin so that I could see her the next day. You know I used to get those chills that you get when you see that someone special. We would pass brief smiles to each other and greet Hies when we crossed by but I was so shy to go and approach her. What if she took in it in a wrong sense? What if the thing that I thought was there was not actually there on her mind? All these questions made me rethink time and again whenever I tried to go and approach her. I remember I would stand in front of the mirror and rehearse on how I shall ask for her number tomorrow. That was really funny because the next day when I used to meet her I would forget all my rehearsals.

Days passed by and I had still not approached her. We were still just Hiee friends. Or I would say we were nothing more that classmates. I never told anyone about this. The days turned into months and a year passed by but I had not spoken to her about how I felt. Maybe I was too afraid to share my feelings. Maybe I was that shy guy who wouldn’t just accept his own true feelings himself. Or maybe I was just a looser who had no guts at all.

But things change and so do times and people. Our time was also about to change because it was just catching fire and the story was yet to begin.

-by Ambuj

Betrayed by God

“Betrayed by God”

The hand writes when the heart cries,

A tornado of broken feelings tries to rush through the eyes.

Heart looks for a friend to talk its condition,

But the mind says it’s a bad decision.

The lips want to pour away the pain that the heart carries,

But the heart can’t get rid of the million memories.

Never had the heart been this broken,

Never had all the hopes will taken.

Never had the soul been so cold,

But to withhold the pain never had the mind been so bold.

The heart knows that the days ahead will never shine,

No sunshine will be there and no moonlight will be mine.

The soul wants to stop the one Soulmate who’s going away,

But nothing can be done as the stars have given their say.

The very Gods that this heart believed for so long have betrayed,

Hence this love story shall be left unsaid…

-by Ambuj

The Doll in the Box

It was Monday morning of 15^th Feb, a lonely and a quite sad day for him. The Monday morning was not the reason for his dullness; the real reason was that he had to celebrate this year’s Valentine’s Day alone, without her. She had gone to visit her parents and was at her home town, whereas he was walking towards his office. He was taking heavy steps towards the building when he got a call from her. It was unusual for her to call at this time while being at her parent’s place. He got a silent chill as he realized that something was not good.

He picked up the phone with a little hesitation, “Hey there! Well it’s a pleasant surprise that you called me so early.”

“Hmm…” she replied.

This ‘Hmm...’ was a sign of danger as he further inquired, “What happened to you? All well?”

“No. Things are getting very bad” she said.

As his heart was cringing he stopped walking and said, “Can you please elaborate and not shoot puzzles?”

“Yes” she said, “Papa is not going to agree on our marriage! With every passing day he is gets more impatient. I don’t understand what I should do. My mother and grandmother have also put down their weapons as they think that papa will never agree on this marriage.”

He was listening very patiently as this was the girl he had planned on spending his life with.

She carried on after a little gulp, “I don’t understand why everyone is going against us! What wrong have we done? These questions crawl in my mind all the time. What should we do?”

He had no answers to her questions as he too was a boy who was in love with this girl. He didn’t have the right answers which would fill the blank space in her heart. Still he had to tell her something. He couldn’t just leave her on her condition.

And he answered her question with a question, “Sweetheart! Do you know what all these people are doing?”

“No…” she said with a little hope in her voice.

“They are just bringing us closer” he said, “I sometimes think about all the toys that I used to own as a kid. I don’t remember any of them but just one. And the toy I remember is the one that I actually never had!”

She was very seriously listening to his words.

He continued, “When I was a kid I once got sick and my dad took me to our family doctor. The specialty of that doctor was that he had very unique toys that he would let his child patients play with so that he could distract them from the whole process of the checkup. Now that day he gave me a box. It was a grey metal box with flower like designs engraved on it and when I opened the box a little plastic doll with a pink frock would start dancing on a melodious tune. I liked that box more that any other toy that I ever had.”

“Then”, she said.

He laughed and replied, “Then? Then I remember is that I never owned that box. And what my parents tell me is that I cried so much for it. My father tried to purchase one for me but it was not available in the market. At least this is what dad tells me!

Anyways, Slowly I realized that I will never have that box but I waited for the next time when I’ll go to that Doctor and see that little doll dance.”

She said, “Interesting story, but why are you telling me this?”

He said, “I am trying to explain to you the essence and the beauty of the unachievable. Now just understand, I never had that box as one of my own but the craving of having it was what made it so special. I had so many toys but all I could remember is the one which was in front of me but was unachievable. I even remember the color and design of the box, the doll, the doll’s dress and even the music. The bond that was there in between me and that thing was what made it so memorable for me. The doctor and my parents would stop me from taking that box with me every time that I visited the doctor but every time when they stopped me, they were actually increasing my craving for that box. Not being able to achieve the box was what made it so special!

Now just put yourself in my place and put me in the place of that box. What all people are doing right now is to push both of us apart. But that is just adding fuel to the fire. It is just making us realize that what we really mean to each other and how important it is for us to be together. Nothing so beautiful and serene can ever be achieved so easily and if you achieve it with no fight, it’s simply not worth it!”

His words were making sense to her and a smile had started appearing on her face.

“Yes, you are right! We will actually understand the true worth of our relationship only after we earn it. And that is what we are doing right now, earning it! Each time when we head for a fight we’ll stop and remember these days when we fought for our love.” she exclaimed.

“Exactly and on the contrary we’ll have awesome stories that we will tell to our children and grandchildren. Isn’t it?”

Both their minds were at peace now and they were heading to a wonderful day. He was not sure that from where these thoughts came from, but it was real and impactful.

“OK then, I’ll go now. My boss is waiting for me with a whip!” he said.

She giggled, “Hey but in your story you never got the box with the doll. What do you have to say about that Mr. Philosopher?”

He smiled and replied, “Well, the doll is not in the box now, she is out of it and this time no one can stop me from taking her home with me!”

by Ambuj