Heaven of my Dreams

Heaven of my Dreams 

It was the year of 2009. Probably my final days in my hometown. I was standing alone at the roof of my house, cold winds were shivering my soul. Lost in the maze of my own making I was just running back in time, thinking how much I loved being there... There was no specific thing that I loved about my hometown. I loved the people around me, I just loved being around my parents. I loved the nature which surrounded me. I loved every morning as the first thing that I heard was chirping of the house sparrows. I loved those little angelic beings flying in and out of my house. But the most of all  I loved standing on the roof of my home and feeling the cold winds just passing through my soul. Priceless! While I was reliving the most beautiful memories of my life, one thought passed through my mind that stole away the bliss from me. The thought was of leaving home... Leaving everything I loved and moving on to the next phase of my life. Moving on to a world that was completely alien. Moving own and making a name in the world which never mattered to me. It is inexplicable that how much I wanted to stop but that is what we all are taught.. to move on. I did the same, I moved on.

Today it has been 6 years since I have left the heaven of my dreams. I have now learnt how to catch pace with this new world. I have proved myself worthy to this world. I have proved that I am fit for surviving in this world. Life is going normal now, I have adapted to this new world of mine. But sometimes I wonder, is this the world where I belong? Do I need to prove myself worthy in front of this world where I am just a number? Is this world worthy enough to have me in it? Have I been an altruist which I should have been to my own world or have I just taken from it? Am I happy in this new alien world? And the most important question, I  am surviving well in this world but am I living? I deserve to live or to survive?  Millions of questions and every time my heart tells me that the answer to all my questions in HOME! The world where my heart is, the world where I belong and the world which  loves me as dearly I love it.

I now know the answer to all my questions but I haven't been able to reach for it. I am afraid... I fear a million things... a million things hold me back. I want to cut loose from these strings and I strongly believe that it will happen one day. One day I will be back to the world which holds me dear. One day life will be a bliss and not a survival. One day I'll be happy again... One day I shall be free....

by Ambuj