A Blind World

Today I write because there is something that is burning deep inside my chest. It’s the recent terrorist attacks on Paris, Nigeria and Mali. Men of flesh and bone are brutally slaughtered by other men made of the same flesh and bone. The reasons behind such occurrences are very complicated and self-contradictory. There are numerous terrorist or as I like to call it Anti-Human groups out there with a sole purpose to kill people; God knows what is that they want to achieve or prove. There may be many reasons for these groups for getting formed, some reasons may be self-knit and some reasons have been provided by some so called developed and civilized countries. I won’t get deep into what terrorist groups do because that is something that we all see on televisions and read in newspapers and also condemn it. My point here is that how humanity should respond to such anti-human threats. Recently a devastating threat on humanity was made when ISIS attacked the heart of France. It was a demonic act of hatred on the innocent people of Paris who lost their lives and their loved ones in the attacks. And how the people responded to the situation was so heroic and heartwarming. The people stood as one against the terrorist group giving them a strong message of Fearlessness. It was really the best act of humanity.

I was really amazed by such a reaction from the people. The people gave a really strong impression of their country. But soon after all this France dropped missiles on the state of Syria; followed by US and Russia. Some think that this was the correct step, it was justice. Well I have disagreements here. This retaliation, I call it terrorism too. Hatred can never be won with hatred. It may sound very philosophical but just imagine for a minute. Paris was attacked and many innocent people died, now when France blasted Syria what is the guarantee that only terrorists would have killed in the detonations. A bomb does not choose between good and bad, it is just a messenger of death which takes anyone who comes in its way. If you see, innocent children, women and men were killed in Paris attacks but the same happened when France attacked Syria. The same happened when US was on the quest to root off terrorism from the world by blasting Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and many more countries. They may have killed many terrorists but they also have the blood of innocent men, women and children on their hands. Humanity cannot be saved by killing a thousand terrorists for sure but humanity dies when an innocent life is lost. I strongly believe that earth is not made up of nations but nations are made inside earth. When we say our people, we mean the people of our community, our country and our religion. We need to get out of this narrow-mindedness. When we say our people, we should mean the entire human race. If the same scenario continues and if we keep on killing innocents on the name of retaliation and justice, we will end our species one day.

The world is made up of love and peace. We should respect the fact and live by it. There are the normal people of Paris who proved it on the night of the attacks. I read an open letter from a man to ISIS which read that he won’t let the terrorists have his hatred because they don’t deserve it. He wrote that that he’ll just ignore those inglorious rascals and move on with his life and try to make the world a better place. Now this is what I call a real man, not the ones who attacked Paris or not even the ones who ordered bombings on Syria.

Mahatma Gandhi said that an Eye for an Eye makes the whole world blind. Today I can totally relate to the fact. Where the world on one side is moaning for Paris and supporting them, there are the normal people of Syria who are deprived of basic human requirements and also are being looked upon as a black mark on the society, as if a mother’s womb gives birth to a terrorist. The world needs to change, change for the good, change for the sake of humanity. And to achieve this we should get over the mindset of being of a community. Above everything we should look upon ourselves as a race, the human race. After all we are nothing but star dust in this vast universe.

by Ambuj

Pages from a Father's Journal

Blessed!!

Oh God! I can’t thank you enough for being too generous to me. Today you gave me your best blessings by making me the fortunate father of this beautiful child. I can’t really thank you enough for this best gift ever. He looks so cute, he fits into my hands. He is so beautiful and fragile. His skin is so soft; I think rose petals must be harder than his creamy skin. His face! It is so radiant; I just can’t take my eyes off his face. His little eyes barely open, but I don’t know why I can see my entire future in them. His squishy nose looks like a little fluffy bun. His lips look like pieces of cherry and his cheeks, Oh God! They are like two soft wool balls, the nurse keeps on telling me not to touch them but I can’t resist from kissing his cheeks. I also took him in my arms. He was looking at me as if he knows me, as if he knows that we share common blood and as if he knows that he is a part of me. I just can’t let him off my sight. I don’t feel hungry or sleepy; I just want to be with him, always! Oh God! I can’t get over with it, am I going crazy with happiness?

Happy days keep on coming!

He has started responding to sound. He recognizes sounds and people, he laughs and crawls and plays with me. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but he loves riding on my back. He is an angel. I hold his hand and try to teach him walk. He is so responsive! He holds my finger tight and tries hard to walk on his feet. He is adorable. I feel bad when he falls and cries, it makes my eyes wet but I know that he must learn to get up. I just love him like crazy!

First step

My son is now going to school, I am really happy. His teachers say that he is really bright in studies and other activities. I and my wife keep on discussing that how cue he looks in that little school uniform. Things are going great God; please let it be the same forever. Bless my son; help him be a better man than his father. He has a lot of potential, I can see that.

Anything for you

My son is growing up now. He understands things; he goes to school, eats on his own, does his homework on his own and manages his chores himself. He is making me a proud father. He has also started making demands now… Hahaha! He sees new things on the television and new toys that his friends have and demands the same from me. Sometimes it is difficult to manage the budget though! My wife sometime tells me that I should not fulfill all his demands, even I feel the same sometimes but then I recall my childhood. I didn’t get a lot of things that I deserved or needed as a child, may be the circumstances were not good then. But today I won’t let my child follow the same fate as mine. So what if I have to cancel my personal shopping expenses?  The old scooter is not that bad yet; a few services would make it fit for the go, I don’t need a car yet! So what my wife and I had to cancel our holiday plans on our anniversary? We have had many anniversaries but we have only one child. Nothing is more important than the smile on your face son. You live your life to the fullest son, which is all I desire. I love you!

Hiccups

Why is this happening God? What wrong have we done? Everything was going fine; my son was a bright kid, why is he loosing focus now? He is not doing well at school. His teachers tell me that he holds a lot of potential but he is very careless. I spoke to him several times on this topic, but the matter of fact is that he himself doesn’t know what is going wrong. What shall I do to bring him back on the right track? I am so confused and tensed. I know that he is not into any bad habits, but why is he going astray? Please show us the right path, please point him to the correct direction

Find Your World

He is all grown up now. He or shall I say we learnt the solutions to my son’s problems with time. I now understand that they were passing clouds. I can now see the silver lining bright and clear. My son is becoming a man now, he is going to college. He is going to follow his passion and make his own world. What could be more delightful for me than this? Although it is difficult to manage his expenses now but I want to accompany him as far as possible! I want him to be proud of me being his father as I am proud of him being my son. He is happy, but I can see the sadness behind his smiling face. The sadness is of going away from us. He knows that there is no turning back from where he is standing. He knows that now he will have to bid goodbye to his home. I can see the sadness that he holds in his eyes. He thinks that he can dodge me by putting a smile on his puppy face. Son! Don’t be mistaken, I am your father. I have known you more than you have known yourself. There’s no shame in being sad, it shows that how much you love us and your smile, it shows that how tuff you are. Go live your dreams; be happy, I am always there for you. And the sadness in your eyes, Son I share the same in my heart.

Fly High

Thank you God! It’s all your grace that my son got his dream job. He is a working man now. His hard work paid off. I am happy for him. I can see my success in his achievements. His one step towards success is like my leap towards serenity.  I can now see my reflection in him. It has always been there but now, it’s crystal clear. The way he thinks, talks, eats, sleeps, makes his bed are so similar to my ways. I feel as if I am living a second life. I feel like God has gifted me my twenties back to achieve a little more and live life once again. I spend sleepless nights when he is coming to visit us the next day. I often wonder that isn’t this the same feeling that I experienced when he was about to be born? He is like a best friend to me where I don’t need to speak anything for him to understand. This bond has now grown from being a blood relation, this bond is now serene, it’s sacred and it’s above what words can explain. I love you son and I know that you love me too! I see myself in you and I pray that one day your child gives you the same pleasure so that you can understand how blessed I am to have you as my child.

by - Ambuj

The Invention of Apology

In the ancient times, the world was not as organized and cultured as we see it today. There was no code of conduct that humans would follow. It was sheer chaos. Riots, violence and non-compliance were everywhere. The people were not happy with this state of chaos and wanted to get rid of it but it was of no use. No matter how deeply and intensely two people loved each other they would finally end up fighting and getting separated. They would get this urge, this zeal to finish the quarrel but it would never happen. They were genetically built up this way. Two people would fall in love and then fight and separate due to disagreements. Things were really bad, as the population was increasing and the quarrels were changing to battles and humanity was suffering as a whole.

When all this was happening, far away in the Indus valley a group of saints were trying to find a cure for this disease of intolerance and defiance. Decades passed but they were not able to find the cure. Humanity on the other hand was on the verge of extinction. The saints knew that whatever they had to do, they had to do it fast. They were running short of time. The High-saint smelled the risk of extinction and decided to travel to the Himalayas with two of his disciples, Kshama and Daata. Kshama was a naughty young boy but was intellectually very smart whereas Daata was a healthy boy with a solid built but was very short tempered. Kshama could master difficult looking tasks with his brains whereas Daata would break huge objects with his bare hands. The only reason the high-saint took them as accomplices was because of their unique abilities, Kshama for his intellect and Daata for his strength.

While they were half the way to the top of the Himalayas, the three of them decided to take rest. While Daata was sleeping Kshama was disturbing him. He would just poke him and run and would laugh when Daata would ask him not to do so. The high-saint was observing this very closely. He was sure that eventually Daata would lose his cool and wanted to see that how would Kshama handle the situation. It was not long when Daata really got furious on Kshama. He slapped Kshama so hard that he almost fainted, but Daata would not stop. He was again going to hit Kshama who was already down when Kshama joined his hands and in a very deep voice said the words, “Kshama... Kshama… Kshama…”  The high-saint was surprised to see that Daata has stopped his hand in the air, he was not hitting Kshama but he helped Kshama get up. The high-saint was just amazed to see the power of the feeling, the sheer utter of the word ‘Kshama’ saved Kshama from the wrath of Daata. This is when the high-saint realized that the world can be won and turned into a better place with this compassionate feeling. Kshama and Daata were friends but they started fighting as per their genetic engineering, but the feelings put by Kshama in his own name empowered the single word so much that it cleared the anger and reinstated the friendship between Daata and Kshama. The high-saint and his two accomplices then went to the top of the Himalayas to master this feeling. Upon their return they taught the usage of this compassion to the world and it resulted in the restoration of love and harmony in the world.

Today also many times we have quarrels with our loved ones. Many times we think, OK now this is it! I am not gonna see his face for the rest of my life. But the urge of togetherness pushes us to apologize and we end up making things right just by saying 3 words – ‘I am SORRY!’. Apologizing to someone and accepting someone’s apology is the greatest sense that man has ever mastered. It brings people closer and makes you feel light.

So guys, don’t be afraid to apologize to someone, it makes you bigger in their heart. And don’t be a miser in accepting apologies as it makes you bigger in your own heart!

by Ambuj

Incomplete Story

Both of them were working in the same organisation. He was mesmerized the first time that he saw her. He would wait for hours every day just to have a glimpse of her. Her dense and shiny hair, her hypnotic eyes, her beautiful face and her impeccably carved body. All these would relieve him from all his worries. He passed by her side just to let a little of her fragrance into his head through his nostrils. He would get high just by a sight of her beauty. He admired her beauty but never admitted the real feelings behind that.
Days passed into weeks and weeks into months and months to years, but he was not able to become something more than a secret admirer. Finally the day had come when he had to leave that city where they both lived. He had to move on. He had no choice, just an inexplicable pain in his heart, the guilt, the guilt of leaving something unfinished, something incomplete. But he thought in his mind that this is life and he has to move on.
But wait... Life ain't that bad. Life gave him a chance. Life gave them a chance... She called him... Yes! The same girl that he had secretly desired for days! She called him! She told him that what he really meant to her. She told him that how desperately she wanted him from the past years. She told him that he meant a lot to her. She told him how deeply she had desired him. She told him how she used to wait for a single sight of him. She told him that how her friends used to tease her on his name. She told him that what dreams she had seen for the both of them. Yes she did! She was strong enough to confess... May be on the last moment but yes she did!
The boy was on the seventh sky. He was happy but couldn't show that to her. They started talking. Although being in different cities they talked a lot. Things were really beautiful when he realized that his girl was getting herself too much involved in this love. He was scared, not because he didn't love her but because his past experiences were too cold. He didn't want to feel the pain of a failed love once again. The girl was a new and free bird in the skies of love but he was a bird who had already lost his wings. He was too afraid to take that leap. And then he started pushing her away. He hurt her and himself by being so scared and being so dumb! Again his mistakes took her away from him. And again he was alone! He still can't understand that was he right in doing what he did or not; and now life has moved on and he is still on his quest to find the conclusion to his incomplete story.

by Ambuj

Feel the Feelings

After a certain age we make our own life with our own hands. We all live our lives. We do things to make ourselves happy. That happiness may come directly because something good just happened to ourselves or may come indirectly by seeing some loved one happy. In our life our actions have some consequences on the universe which gradually cascade to our personal life. These little emotions are stored in our minds forever. We can remember and feel them whenever we really want to. I still remember the feeling of holding my first paycheck in my hands, Oh God! The feeling was incredible. And I am very sure that you must also have such memorable moments that you want to live over and over again.

But have you ever thought what would it fell like to live someone else’s life? Have you ever thought that how would it actually feel to experience the memories of other people? I really fantasize about it. Just imagine, if humans had the capability to see the world from the perspective of other people, the world would have been different. We would have been capable of understanding each other better and hence behaving accordingly. Things would have been smooth that way.

Anyways, I don’t wish to throw a psychology lesson today but I want to share one item out of my wish list. The things that I would like to feel if we had the ability to experience the feelings of other people exactly in the same manner that they did:

·         How my mother felt when I came into this world.

·         How my father felt on holding me in his arms for the very first time.

·         How my parents felt when I broke my shoulder and got plastered for the very first time.

·         How my parents felt when they sent me to school for the very first time.

·        How my father felt when I boarded a wrong bus from school and was lost.

·         How my parents felt when I sang a group song in the school annual day function for the first time.

·         How my father felt when I failed in a subject and my teacher gave him a warning that his son was not doing good in class.

·         How my mother felt in all those sleepless nights when I had migraine pain.

·         How my father felt when he left me in the hostel for the first time and went back home alone.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I proposed to her.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I told her that I wanted to marry her and be with her forever.

·         How my parents and bhaiya felt when I got my first job.

·         How my parents felt when I moved to Chennai for my job.

·         How my girlfriend felt when I moved to Chennai and got too busy in my new world that was not able to give enough time to her.

·         How my little sister and parents felt when I got them presents from my first salary.

·         How my parents, bhaiya and girlfriend felt when I got a new job in Gurgaon and was coming near home.

       

      Oh God! Only if I would have been able to experience these feelings… Life would have been so fulfilled…

Please comment what is that you want to feel from someone else’s life!

by Ambuj

The Rainy Friday

It was a Friday evening. I was just about to leave from my office when I got call from my Bhaiya. I spend most of my weekends at bhaiyas's place. It gives me a family feeling while staying away from home. It's heartwarming. This Friday was also one of those Fridays where Bhaiya invited me to his place. The plan was ad-hoc so I had to first go to my RENTED ACCOMMODATION to pick-up my belongings. I reached my PG and was packing my backpack when it started raining heavily. I waited for around 15 minutes hoping that the water in the sky tanks would finish but sadly that wasn't happening. Then I finally decided to step out in the rain with my umbrella as my savior. I walked in the heavy rain so that I could catch an auto which would eventually drop me at the metro station. I finally reached the highway and there came an auto, it stopped in front of me.

I asked the auto driver, "How much till Huda City Center?"

Auto driver replied, "90 Rupees sir."

It came as a shock to me. "90 Rupees!", I said, "Are you out of your mind? It takes 50 bucks till Huda City Center. Do you think I am new here?"

Auto driver replied, "Sir it’s raining! The roads are flooded! What to do?"

I said, "Then what? 60 are fine."

Auto driver was not happy with the deal but he somehow agreed on the condition that he would take one more passenger if he gets one on the road. I was fine with this and we moved.

The roads were really flooded and I was thinking that what the fuck is wrong with our government? Where the public money is going if a 30 minutes rain can flood the roads? While I was busy acting a responsible citizen on the backseat of the auto the auto driver found one more passenger on the side of the road. He stopped. The person was a dark complexioned guy and was completely wet in the rain. 

He asked the auto driver, "Metro?"

Auto driver replied, "50 Rupees sir."

He said, "No! 40."

I was surprised to see that even in that condition the guy was arguing for 10 bucks. Anyhow the auto driver agreed and that person joined me on the back seat. I looked at the guy and he looked like a Tamil guy. I have a lot of love and respect for Chennai and its people. I wanted to hold myself but I failed and finally asked him, 

"Where are you from?"

He replied, "Chennai."

Wow! This is what I wanted to hear. There was a sudden shine on my face. May be the Tamil guy was a little baffled by my reaction but that didn't affect me in any way. 

I still continued with the conversation, "Hi! I am Ambuj. What's your name?"

"Rajkishan.", He said.

I again threw a question at him, "Where do you live in Chennai?"

"Tambram.", He replied.

I said, "Oh... Chennai is a beautiful place; I was working in Chennai for around 3 years. I love the place and the people."

This made the conversation a little light for Rajkishan and he started taking interest in the conversation.

"So where were you working there?” Rajkishan said.

I quickly replied "I was working with Standard Chartered Bank." 

Talking about my previous employer made me feel so proud. This started our actual conversation. We spoke about our jobs, our salaries, the Gurgaon weather, our families, Chennai, Delhi and lot many things.

We were about 5 minutes away from the metro station when we got stuck in the traffic. I and Rajkishan decided to walk to the station rather than sitting and waiting. I had an umbrella so we both shared it and reached the station. It was a pleasant meeting. We both were happy that we spoke and thus we made our final pleasantries and parted ways.

The conversation just lasted for 20-25 minutes but it made me so happy and made me think about that person while travelling in the metro. It is so strange that the people with whom we spend a few minutes touch our lives so closely whereas sometimes we don't even speak to certain people whom we have known from years. Life is short; we should talk to people, make friends, and make good memories because this is all that matters. After-all we are nothing but social animals.

by Ambuj...

The LOVE Walk

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! It’s a brand new dayyyyy…. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Everything’s todayyyy….!” .

Oh God! Not again. Why does this morning alarm has to go off every day at 7:00AM? Can’t it make some mistake? Damn this mobile phone! I would have had a 0.99% chance of sleeping till late if the batteries of my alarm clock would have burned out. But this mobile phone took that away from me! Screw you Nokia! Screw you!

This is what I was thinking while laying down on my hostel bed when I suddenly realized that too much thinking could deprive me of a hot shower as my fellow inmates would finish the hot water in the tank by then. With all my strength, courage and will power I pulled myself out of my bed, it was 7:45AM by then and I just rushed to the bathroom area. It took me approximately 17 minutes to go to loo, brush my teeth and take a bath. Sometimes I would wake up at 8:50AM and be there in my classroom attending the 9:00AM class. Yeah! This is the superpower that you get after paying the huge amount of hostel fees! Off course I mean, your dad pays the fees and you get the superpower! Fair enough!

I was a new fish in the college so I reached the college early that day. It was a practical class of 1 hour and 30 minutes. I guess I was a bit too early that day as there were barely one or two students on the floor and the computer labs were not yet open. I was standing alone beside the huge window on the first floor and thinking some random stuff when I saw a white blur appearing from college cafeteria. It was a girl walking from the college cafeteria towards the academic building. It was actually a group of people but all I could notice was a beautiful girl with a cup of coffee in one hand and a couple of notebooks in another. She was wearing a white top, a blue denim jeans and a pair of white belly. I could see her kissing the coffee cup again and again as she was having that hot coffee sip by sip in the freezing cold weather. The cold winter breeze was waving her smooth hair in the air. She tried to adjust her waiving hair behind her right ear but the notebooks did not allow her to do so. I thank Goddess Saraswati for that. I don’t have a habit of staring at people but this girl just didn’t allow me to take my eyes off her. I was not able to look somewhere else even after trying. She had me spell bounded.

“Oh boy!”,  I said.

 I never realized when these words came out of my mouth. I simply cannot understand or explain that moment when she accidentally looked on the window where I was standing. She looked at me, she noticed me looking at her, and then she again looked at me for a while. The gape of a few micro seconds lasted for too long. Then she just broke the eye contact and moved ahead to enter the academic building. She was out of my sight but I still was not able to get over the hang over that she gave me in the past few minutes. I was standing inside the building but was feeling as if I had walked the distance from the cafeteria to the academic building with her. I don’t know why but I wanted to walk with her, more, more and a little more. There was something unexplainable that I felt, something that even I was not able to understand, something that was supposed to last for a life time, something that didn’t end with those few passing minutes, something that was just a beginning. 

-by Ambuj