The Questioning Breeze!

This cold breeze mocks me...

The last time when I blew, she was here laying next to you and you couldn't just look away.

Where is she now, the one you called love?

The last time when I tried to kiss you, she covered you with her blanket and you slipped into her arms.

Where is she now, the one you called love?

The last time when I tried to caress you, she hugged you tight and you just gave into her warmth.

Where is she now, the one you called love?

The last time when I tried to blow your hair, she rubbed her hand on your head and you went missing in her eyes,

Where is she now, the one you called love?

The last time when I tried to pass through your soul, she kissed you and you couldn't even feel my touch.

Where is she now, the one you called love?

-by AMbuj

She...

When God created women…

For all the love that she’ll bestow, she’ll be the most compassionate.

For all the prolonged agonies that she’ll see, she’ll be the most forbearing.

For all the times she’ll uphold others, she’ll be the most empathetic.

For all the sins that will be committed on her, she’ll be the most magnanimous.

For all the hope she’ll restore in others, she’ll be the most sanguine.

For all the hardships that she’ll face, she’ll be the most inviolable.

-by AMbuj

A Day Off

It was any other day. She went to office and as usual was waiting for him to come in. It was like a daily ritual for them to have breakfast together. So, like any other day she was waiting that when Aryan would come and when they would eat. She checked his status on the office communicator a couple of times but he was offline.

Having waited enough she called him, “Hi sexy! Where are you?”

“Yes Niya” he replied in a tired voice.

This wasn’t a reply that she was expecting, “I’ve been waiting for you and you aren’t in the office, neither did you return my texts. All well?”

“Yes, just the usual headache” he complained.

“Oh… Did you eat anything?” she sounded concerned.

“No… Listen, I’ll sleep, let me call you back.” He replied annoyingly.

Although he sounded ignorant but Niya didn’t get mad at him. She knew that Aryan had bad headaches and would get cranky in such situations. She wished him well and hung up the phone.

She hated going to the cafeteria alone. Every known soul in the office knew that Niya and Aryan always hung out together. There was this traction between them which never went unnoticed. Going alone would always bring out a series of questions from not so good friends. Hence, she skipped breakfast and thought of having lunch early.

The day passed by and she got busy in her work. It was around 3:00 in the evening when she got a text from Aryan, “Hey… I am better now.”

She read the text and replied with a smile, “Well, that’s good news. Did you eat anything?”

“I was asleep, I didn’t but what about you?” he replied.

“I had my breakfast.” She replied conservatively.

“Yeah! Sure!” he replied with a smirk.

“Hah! So, you know! Big deal!” she replied with a quirk.

”But listen! I am hungry” Can you come?” he asked her.

“So, what? Do you want to eat me?” she texted.

“I am flattered but not in the mood to eat fish today.” He replied.

It was a busy day for her. Her manager was at her head trying to get the tasks completed. And hence she replied, “Will be there in 30 mins!”

“Great!” he replied.

She had never said “No” to him. Neither had he!

She reached his place as promised but was surprised to see him ready in the best of his clothing and with a nice fragrance on.

“Hey… what is this?” she questioned.

“We are going to the beach.” He replied.

“But your headache?” she further enquired.

“It went off when you said you’ll come to see me.” He replied flirtingly.

She blushed and replied, “Anyway, you look too good to be sick!”

He smirked in return and said, “Well, we can stay in if you want there’s no one around!”

“Oh, come one Aryan!” she blushed, “Let’s go. We’ll first get something to eat at the mall then go to the beach.” She said.

They loved spending time at the beach together. And going to the mall just before to grab some burgers was a part of the itinerary to the beach. After having filled their tummies to full they went to the beach and sat at their one favorite spot. The sky had turned dusky and the waves had become aggressive. Well, the sun and moon could have been charged guilty for setting up the beautiful act for the young souls. As the night kept on becoming dominant the breeze started getting faster and colder. They had been chatting for quite some time now and the words had started coming to an end. Now the only thing between both was the cold sea breeze. The conversation which was working as the insulator had now faded away.

Niya held Aryan’s hand tightly. She could feel the warmth starting from his hand and travelling all the way across her heart. She kept staring at the waves as she felt shy in looking towards Aryan. Aryan on the other hand shamelessly kept on staring at her. After a point she looked at him, tilted her head to the left, smiled and asked him, “What are you looking at?”

He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. Niya giggled and kept her head on Aryan’s shoulder. Aryan wrapped Niya in his arms like a little kitten. Niya tucked herself further inside his arms making herself comfortable. Niya could hear Aryan’s heartbeats clearly and Aryan could very well sense the shiver in her body.

“Niya!” said Aryan.

“Hmm…” Niya whispered softly.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He said.

Niya was brought back to reality by these words by Aryan but she decided to keep mum.

She looked at Aryan with all the love in the world in her eyes and a tear dropped off! Aryan needed no explanation for the reaction from Niya. He understood everything.

Niya closed her eyes and leaned towards Aryan and they kissed with all the passion that they had for one-another. They let out all the hidden feelings, all the unspoken feelings that they had buried in their hearts for so long. The beach felt silent to them, the waves hitting the shore so hard had gone mute and all the people on the beach had gone dumb.  

Niya still wrapped in Aryan’s arms and both their eyes still shut. It seemed as if they were on the most solace place in the world just when Niya’s phone rang. She took out the phone from her pocket and answered it, “Hi… I am out with my team. I’ll reach in another hour. Will call you then.”

“Who was it”, enquired Aryan.

Niya got herself out from Aryan’s arms, sat straight and gasped, “My boyfriend!”

--by AMbuj

A Night's Story

Here I sit in the Golden-Yellow hue of these rice lights,

I feel being saved from the jittery thoughts by these little knights.

The thought of the next morning seems so unpleasant,

But the moon of this passing night is impeccably crescent.

The night is so beautiful but the roads are still swishing,

Don’t people know what they’re actually missing?

The crickets in the bushes stridulate,

Have they found the tranquility that we try to invocate?

I don’t want the night to end,

But it keeps getting older and that is the trend.

I accept that the next day is going to be an invader,

But wait there, I still have the entire night to savor.

-by Ambuj

Kya Hua Agar...

Kya hua agar ab roz office jana padta hai,

Are kabhi roz college bhi to jate the.

Kya hua agar aaj roti khud banani padti hai,

Are kabhi maa kay hath ka khana bhi to khate the.

Kya hua agar aaj boss ko deni padti hai,

Are kabhi juniors ki bhi to baja kay liya karte the.

Kya hua agar aaj formals pehen kar rehna padta hai,

Are kabhi ban than kay, hatho me band aur gale me chain pehen kar bhi to niaklte the.

Kya hua agar aaj akele rehte hai,

Are kabhi hostel me ek bed pe teen bhi to pade rehte the.

Kya hua agar pesa kamane kay liye mehnat karni padti hai,

Are kabhi baap kay pese pe aish bhi to kiya karte the.

Kya hua agar aaj apni gadi me akele ghoomte hai,

Are kabhi doston kay sath pedal hi kayi faslay bhi to tay kiya karte the.

Kya hua agar aaj maa baap apne liye bahu dhoond rahe hai,

Are kabhi khud kay liye bhi to girlfriend dhoonda karte the.

Kya hua agar dosotn se aaj mil nahi paate,

Are kabhi unke sath hi to zindagi gujara karte the.

Kyu rote ho ki sab badal gaya hai,

Are aaj badlega tabhi to kal nayi yaaden jutaoge! 

-by Ambuj

First Snowfall

Siya, “Winter has come Anay and look I’m here.”

Siya and Anay were one of a kind. They had this silly ritual that no matter where they were they would meet in their home town whenever the first snow would fall.

They were born in the beautiful town of Manali and had known each other from the time since they were little kids. They went to school together, studied in the same class, shared the same desk but more than anything they had shared their entire lives with each other. There wasn’t anything that they both didn’t know about each other. They would share every tiny to every huge thing with each other. The universe had already given them that one thing that most can’t find even in a lifetime. Everyone including their parents were aware about the bond that existing between the two and everyone pictured them together, always.

Life moved on and the days passed by soon, little Siya and Anay had now grown up and so had their bond. But unfortunately, time had come when both had to part ways and go ahead in the world to build their own paths and their own careers. Siya moved to Bangalore for a job in a finance firm and Anay moved to Mumbai to be a software engineer. Initial few months were very difficult for both because this was the first time that they had stayed apart for so long. But as days passed they got busier in their lives and started getting used to their new way of life.

It was 20^th August, Siya’s birthday. First birthday away from her soulmate, her friend, Anay. The clock had already hit 12:00 AM but she didn’t get a call from Anay, not even a message. She became sad but kept on waiting until she dozed off. She woke up next day and to her wonders, Anay was sitting there in her living room with a bouquet full of Siya’s favorite orchids. Siya was baffled! She ran and hugged him.

She asked him,” What are you doing here so far from Mumbai?”

Anay very sweetly replied, “How could I miss your birthday.”

They had a lot of fun that day. They went out for shopping, watched a movie together and caught up on each other’s lives. Finally, it was the time for Anay to leave.

Before leaving Anay said to Siya,” Do you remember how much we both loved the first snowfall of Manali.”

To which Siya excitedly replied,” Yes!”

Anay continued, “Let’s make a pact, no matter wherever in the world we both are, we will meet in Manali every year after the first snowfall. No call, no messages and no planning regarding this but we need to be there. We would directly meet in Manali. Every year for the rest of our lives.”

Siya asked interestingly,” But where would we meet?”

Anay thought a little and replied, “Whoever reaches first will have to go to other’s home.”

“You got yourself a deal buddy.” Replied Siya.

Anay left for Mumbai and Siya went back to her apartment. Days went by and it was the month of December, the time for the first snowfall in Manali. Siya had just landed back in Manali and was excited to meet Anay. But Anay was already there waiting for her outside her home with an Orchid bouquet in his hands. Siya rushed towards him and hugged him tightly.

They had lived up to the first year of their deal!

Life moved on, 2 more years passed and Anay and Siya kept on visiting each other regularly and both fulfilled their promise of meeting whenever the first snowfall happened in Manali.

Everything was going great when one-day on their daily catchup calls Siya told Anay, “There is this really cute guy Tarun in my office and I think I like him.”

Anay sounded alarmed and replied, “Forget about him and tell me something else.”

Siya just skipped the topic and they started talking about something else. After a few days Siya noticed that whenever Siya tried to talk about Tarun, Anay would change the topic. This disturbed Siya as she was not able to understand that what was going on with Anay.

Siya decided to visit Anay in Mumbai and confront him. She went to Mumbai and met Anay.

“What is going on Anay” questioned Siya.

“Going on what?” replied Anay.

Siya further questioned, “See whenever I talk about Tarun, you act weird. I just want to know what is wrong.”

Anay replied, “Nothing is wrong just that I don’t like talking about him. And neither do I like you talking to that looser.”

Siya sounded furious, “Why Anay? You are my best friend and we have shared everything from childhood. There is this guy I might end up with and I like him because he is really nice and cute so what is wrong in that? It is fine that you don’t want to talk about him but why are you calling him a looser? I just came over because I thought that you might be disturbed because of something but here you are talking shit about people you don’t even know. What is wrong with you?”

Anay shouted, “I love you! This is what is wrong with me. I can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else, this is what is wrong with me. I have loved you from the very first day that I saw you in kindergarten Siya and having gone away from you has just increased this love, this feeling of being with you a hundred folds. I know you Siya, better than you do. I know that you don’t love me which is the very reason that I didn’t confess my love for you. I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait till the time you would also develop the same feelings for me and then this Tarun comes in from nowhere and wants to take you away from me. How can I be normal about it? How can I let you go? And how can I hear you talking about someone else? You tell me!”

Siya was astounded. A long silence. Siya could hear Anay breathe heavily. And then Siya said, “I love you, I have always loved you but not in the way that you want.” Siya left.

Siya took her flight to Bangalore and didn’t look back after that. She concentrated on her career and stopped talking to Anay. Anay tried reaching out many times to her but she never replied. That year she did not go to catch the first snowfall with Anay and neither did she go the next year. She stopped visiting Manali altogether.  Slowly, she stopped getting any calls and messages from Anay. But she never stopped thinking about him. She had loved him deep down. Maybe she wasn’t ready to accept it in front of Anay when he asked but she also had loved him. But now it was too late, 5 years too late! Too late to go back and ask for the love that she had so ruthlessly rejected. Slowly the thought of meeting Anay kept on growing deep inside that she couldn’t resist it anymore. That year she decided that she would visit Manali when the first snowfall hits Manali. And she did make it. She landed in Manali and went to Anay’s home to see if he had come to keep his promise or not.

And there she is now, sitting in Anay’s home, in his room, in front of his photo, which has a garland on it.

Siya was thinking about all the beautiful and tough times she had seen with Anay when tears rolled out of her eyes. Anay’s mother had told her that Anay had died 3 years back in a car accident, 2 years after they stopped talking.

Anay’s mother held Siya’s hand and said, “You know he really loved you. He never told me but I always knew. You remember your first day together in school? He came back home that day and told me that Mumma, today I saw a fairy in my class, she sits with me on my desk and she is beautiful. And he told me that one day he was going to marry you.”

Tears flooded out of Siya’s eyes while Anay’s mother continued, “He told me that you two had stopped talking. Although he made me promise not to talk to you about it. He really loved you dear. He wanted you to be happy. I wish he was here today to tell you all this but I think that I can ask for one thing from you. Stay happy Siya because this is what Anay ever wanted. Now you have to be happy for my son too.”

Siya left Anay’s home with a deep regret in her heart. She had lost someone she had loved the most. She had lost her soulmate. It made her wonder that how difficult is to get someone whom you truly love and who truly loves you back, but how easy it is to loose them.

So, spend whatever time you have with the one’s you love so that even if someone must go, you have no regrets!

-by Ambuj

A Letter from my Diary!!!

“What the fuck is wrong with them?” he yelled.

She kept her hand on his shoulder and replied empathetically, “It will pass!”

Life was turning out to be Charon’s boat for both of them. What they had considered to be their salvation was turning out to be damnation for them. Days kept on passing and every coming day was heavier than the previous. They had almost lost hope but they never let the darkness swallow them because their aspirations were high and their values were stronger than they had ever realized. Days turned to months and soon a year had ended, doing nothing but just adding to the exasperation.

They had almost adapted to this way of living, when like many other days she asked him with desolation on her face, “Will this ever end? Is there any end to this helplessness?”

He himself didn’t believe in his words but he had to comfort her. So he replied, “There’s Gold in them hills!”

“What does that even mean?” she questioned.

He smiled and said, “This means hold on, don’t give up! Keep on swimming, we’ll find the shore someday.”

Although she wasn’t convinced, she shook her head into a Yes.

The beauty of their relationship was that both of them were in the same soup and both couldn’t help each other but only they could truly understand each other’s position. They would just encourage each other to keep going so that they could reach to their separate destinations.  The little talks fortified their positive spirits and the amity muffled their beliefs.

The feelings that they shared were tiny but strong and helped them get through the strenuous times in life. Today, they are standing on a point in life where their hardships are about to come to an end and their good times are about to begin. Everything has turned out well. Their strong will, deep beliefs, endurance and edifying friendship had finally paid off. Soon they will be on their separate roads to happiness and wholeness. Everything that they wished for each other had been achieved, but something was lost, just one thing, the togetherness which helped them survive was about to end.

This is a little gloomy because if life gives you something it asks you to pay for it. They were no different; they also had to pay the price. That’s life as they say it and that’s what happens in the end. No ending, completely is a happy ending because where you think it has ended, something new is just waiting to begin!

- by Ambuj