A Letter from my Diary!!!

“What the fuck is wrong with them?” he yelled.

She kept her hand on his shoulder and replied empathetically, “It will pass!”

Life was turning out to be Charon’s boat for both of them. What they had considered to be their salvation was turning out to be damnation for them. Days kept on passing and every coming day was heavier than the previous. They had almost lost hope but they never let the darkness swallow them because their aspirations were high and their values were stronger than they had ever realized. Days turned to months and soon a year had ended, doing nothing but just adding to the exasperation.

They had almost adapted to this way of living, when like many other days she asked him with desolation on her face, “Will this ever end? Is there any end to this helplessness?”

He himself didn’t believe in his words but he had to comfort her. So he replied, “There’s Gold in them hills!”

“What does that even mean?” she questioned.

He smiled and said, “This means hold on, don’t give up! Keep on swimming, we’ll find the shore someday.”

Although she wasn’t convinced, she shook her head into a Yes.

The beauty of their relationship was that both of them were in the same soup and both couldn’t help each other but only they could truly understand each other’s position. They would just encourage each other to keep going so that they could reach to their separate destinations.  The little talks fortified their positive spirits and the amity muffled their beliefs.

The feelings that they shared were tiny but strong and helped them get through the strenuous times in life. Today, they are standing on a point in life where their hardships are about to come to an end and their good times are about to begin. Everything has turned out well. Their strong will, deep beliefs, endurance and edifying friendship had finally paid off. Soon they will be on their separate roads to happiness and wholeness. Everything that they wished for each other had been achieved, but something was lost, just one thing, the togetherness which helped them survive was about to end.

This is a little gloomy because if life gives you something it asks you to pay for it. They were no different; they also had to pay the price. That’s life as they say it and that’s what happens in the end. No ending, completely is a happy ending because where you think it has ended, something new is just waiting to begin!

- by Ambuj

Unknown Number

In continuation to 'Tea in Snow" - http://caravanchala.blogspot.in/2017/03/tea-in-snow.html

Richa was standing on the door waiting for her dad’s car to arrive. The car finally reached and Tanya stepped out of the car.

“You’re a complete dumbo” said Richa and hugged Tanya.

Tanya was so tired because of the whole incident that she had nothing to say and she just smiled back. Richa escorted Tanya towards her room.

“Here is the bathroom, you just freshen up and then let’s have dinner “said Richa.

Tanya went inside the bathroom and stood below the shower. The warm water was washing away her tiredness and she was coming to her senses.  She was just thinking about all that happened with her the entire day and was hooked onto the thoughts of the guy who helped her. She was just wondering how fate helped her by sending that boy in the hour of need and how he was so helpful when she was totally stranded. She was just thinking all this when Richa called her, “Tanya… Hurry up!”

Tanya got ready and rushed towards the dining room. Richa’s mother served the food and the four of them started eating. Richa’s mother said, “Tanya we were so worried! You should be a little more careful when you are travelling to some unknown place.”

Tanya replied empathetically, “I understand that aunty. It’s just that my battery died and there were no phone booths nearby?”

Richa’s father replied in a serious tone, “You kids are careless. You would use your mobile phones for everything, music, games, shopping and what not? But you won’t use it for the one thing that it is made for… Calling!”

Richa interrupted, “Come on you both! Let her have her dinner. We can have this preaching later!”

Everyone laughed on this and concentrated on their plates. But Tanya was still thinking about that boy.

So now Richa and Tanya were alone in Richa’s room.

Richa asked Tanya, “So how’s work?”

Tanya replied, “Fine” while looking towards the window.

Richa again hit her with a question, “Was the bus comfortable?”

Tanya replied, “Yeah” still while looking towards the window.

To which Richa promptly replied, “Shall I drop you back at that tea shop?”

This grabbed Tanya’s attention. She asked with a blush on her face, “What?”

“No, I can see that you are virtually still at that tea shop. You are not talking properly, dodging my questions and top of that paying zero attention to my new hairstyle!” said Richa.

Tanya giggled and replied, “It’s nothing like that. I am just tired and by the way that hairstyle is awesome.”

“Thanks for the compliment. But I know something is wrong with you. Are you thinking about the chai wala? I guess you have fallen for him?” mocked Richa.

Tanya replied, “HA HA HA! Very funny”

“So are you going to talk about it or are we just going to waste time?” questioned Richa.

Tanya blushed and told the whole story to Richa. She continued, “That guy was a life saver. And I wasn’t even able to thank him for what he did for me.”

“So it is all about thanking him?” asked Richa.

Tanya replied in a confused tone, “Maybe!” She continued “That guy was so gentle Richa. He helped me out and didn’t even ask my name. His eyes were so clean. I just can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Was he cute?” asked Richa.

“Indeed” Tanya smirked.

They both laughed wickedly on this.

“What was his name?” asked Richa.

“I didn’t ask his name!” said Tanya.

Richa laughed on this and said, “You are such a retard! You spend so much time with him. Borrowed his phone and everything but you didn’t ask for his name?”

“No” said Tanya hesitantly. 

“HAHAHA! God help you dumbo” said Richa.

Tanya threw the pillow at Richa and said, “Alright it’s enough. I am tired, let’s go to sleep.”

It was getting late and they decided to sleep.  Both of them lay down on their cozy beds which were separated by a small side table.

Just 10 minutes later Richa’s phone rang loudly on the table disturbing the sleep of both of them.

Tanya asked irritatingly, “Who is it?”

“Unknown number!” replied Richa. 

-by AMbuj

Tea in Snow

It was snowing outside. While all his friends were muffled in their cozy beds, he decided to take a walk down the alley. The roads were covered with white, soft snow and the ugly tar roads were looking the best they could ever have been. The birds were all silent and the sky was all clear. Just feathery snowflakes were flowing everywhere. He saw a dog hiding under a porch trying to cuddle a jute sack that it was sleeping on. Everything looked so pious and beautiful. He saw a tea shop and went towards the shop while still rubbing cold off his hands. He ordered a cup of tea.

The tea vendor gave him tea in a steal glass and said, “Sir please come inside”.

To which he just smiled and shook his head in a No to the vendor as he loved standing in the falling snowflakes. He brought the steal glass close to his lips and was about to have his first sip when, “Sneeze!!!” A loud sneezing sound came from inside of the shop followed by a light pitched sound which said, “Please give me one more cup!”

This pulled his attention and he turned towards the shop. Sitting there was a girl, wearing a Red coat with a pair of black jeans and long brown boots. Her eyes were trenched in the black color of Kajal which made her eyes look as if they were engraved on her beautiful face. Her face was so bright and lips were in complete agreement with the redness of her red coat. She definitely was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.  It seemed as if time has come to a point where nothing more could happen. He thought to himself, “Is this is the time where all this comes to a conclusion? Is this the moment for which I ever existed“

He kept his tea glass on the counter and moved towards the girl. The vendor smirked as he moved inside. He went and sat to the table next to hers’.  He was gathering strength from his ancestors so that he could approach her. He was about to say something when he heard something, “Excuse me!”

Confused he looked here and there until he realized that the girl had said the magical words again, “Excuse me!”

He asked her, “Me!”

“Yes!” she smiled.

He further questioned, “How can I help you?”

“I am Tanya” she continued, “I came here to meet my friend. Her address was stored in my mobile device but unfortunately my battery is dead.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, “Can you please help me?”

“Don’t worry. First have some tea and then check if you have her number somewhere” he asked.

“Yes, I have it written in my diary.” she replied.

He handed over his phone to her and she took out the number from her diary. She dialed the number and someone picked up the phone within 2 rings.

“Richa! Tanya this side!” said Tanya.

Richa asked in a worried tone, “Where are you? You should have reached by now. Dad has gone out looking for you. Tell me….”

“Hold on…” Tanya cut her and continued, “This is a long story and I’ll tell you once I reach just ask your dad to pick me up from here. I have reached an hour ago and I am scared now!”

“But where are you?” Richa enquired.

“Where…. Psstt!! Can you please tell my friend the address of this place”, Tanya requested him.

He told Richa the address and Richa told them that her father will pick Tanya up in 20 minutes.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Tanya and thanked him while returning the phone.

“But what exactly happened?” he asked

She made a puppy face and replied,” My bus broke down and they asked us to de-board the bus here itself! And when I checked my phone after getting off the bus, the battery was gone! This tea vendor said he doesn’t have a phone but you truly saved my life today!”

He blushed and asked “But what are you doing here?”

“I am a photographer and came here to my friend for a vacation. But unluckily everything went wrong.” She replied.

“Don’t wor…” baaannnnnnnn… he was cut down by the car horn.

“Ohh my God! Uncle is here” she exclaimed and just rushed out of the shop.

He was just sitting there thinking she would notice him. But by the time he could get off his brain train, the she was gone in her uncle’s car.

He was a little taken back as everything happened to fast. He settled the tea vendor’s bill and came out Hof the shop. Thinking all his dreams lived a short lifespan of a few minutes. He started walking back towards his home when he suddenly realized that he had Richa’s number in his phone. He quickly saved the number and put the phone in his pocket. He has something in mind which he wishes to do later but for now he had a tea of a lifetime in the snow!

-by AMbuj

Society: Paralyzing generations, from generations

Sometimes while sleeping you must have felt a great pressure on your chest. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest and pushing you down. You are partially awake, can’t speak and can’t even move. This phenomenon is called sleep paralysis in scientific terms. During sleep paralysis you feel powerless, afraid to your guts and to the worse you feel helpless because you apply all your strength to push yourself out of your bed but you cannot. To those who have experienced it, sleep paralysis is worse of the worst nightmares. Now imagine a scenario where you are sleep paralytic 24*7. You are well in your senses going through a routine day but you are in a condition where you feel the same fear and pain that you feel in sleep paralysis. They both were facing that pain daily!

Aryan and Tanya were a routine couple. They were deeply in love and they could have never asked for anything more. All the little or more that they had achieved in their lives was well earned. They had worked hard through tough times and had proved their mantel in their own world. They never had any luxury dreams. They believed that happiness and luxury are two different dimensions and they just wanted a normal and decent life full of love.

They almost had it all figured out but just one thing, the great Indian society! Being millennials and living their life in the globalized world they had almost forgotten that they belonged to the same orthodox and hypocritical society which still believes that it is the best in the world. Aryan and Tanya decided to get married and similar to any other Indian adults, this decision was not theirs afterall.  The same old Indian family story repeated itself where at first the girls’ parents wouldn’t approve of the wedding and by the time they do the boy’s parents would also have flipped sides. Aryan and Tanya also had fallen into the same loop. The reasons for the disapproval varied from time to time, starting from caste and then to society and then finally getting blocked on the famous astro-match point.

Now the point here is not to share the same old story but to take a step back and think of the sleep paralysis that the society is giving to its own children. From the society’s perspective, Aryan and Tanya are being selfish and they only have one thing to take care of which is being married. But from Aryan’s and Tanya’s perspective is this only thing that they need to worry about? No. They both are in their twenties wherein they are trying to focus on building up their lives. They have to build up careers; they have to earn the basic needs of theirs which includes their livelihood, house and car etc. They have one thing sorted out which is love. But the society decides that this love relationship is not good for both of them in the longer run and they should part ways.  One could just imagine the amount of burden that this would have brought to lives of both of them. How could they focus on other important things when the most important thing in their life is in jeopardy? And not to mention he impact that would be on their personalities and their lives. The so called self-proclaimed and self-idealistic beliefs of our society have turned out to be such oppression on the silly lives of Aryan and Tanya. What could be worse to having felt sleep paralysis even when you are awake? This is like you are living a paralytic life. You can do everything but not that one thing that you want to do the most.

What the society does not understand is that life is NOT a set of disintegrated blocks wherein you can pull any block any time if you don’t like it. What the society needs to understand is that life is a STACK of blocks. If you take out one block from the middle, the whole stack falls. Love is a building block in one’s life. If you pull it off, whole life falls apart. Now if love is removed from Aryan’s and Tanya’s life their focus from all other things will automatically shift and the results will be cataclysmic. So basically in the quest for the greater good, their own people would lead Aryan and Tanya into a life of failure and darkness.

The fate of many such Aryan and Tanya dangles in the dingles of the society. The discussion is endless and the conclusion is not even near but I wish that our society would have the strength to accept what is actually good for the future then to be over protective and judgmental. Our society needs to understand that the ideas that they cherish are gone with the passing days and they need to evolve. Then only there could be a true society that does not holds its future that is not bonded to crutches of the past. Then only the society can awake from this paralysis. 

-by Ambuj

SHY GUY

in continuation to 'The Love Walk' - http://caravanchala.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-love-walk.html 

SHY GUY

The girl in the shining white dress had disappeared from my sight as she entered the college building. Although she was gone but I was still standing at that huge window and I was frozen there. My mind was blank and all my will to enter the classroom was gone. Other students had started gathering in the classroom but I was still standing there on the window hoping that she would pass by again. Unfortunately that did not happen and I decided to go to the class. I entered the classroom which was actually my first class of my college life. It was my first day so I didn’t know anyone. I just entered and was looking for a vacant seat when I felt as if someone was looking at me. I turned in order to see who it was. And to my surprise it was the same girl, the girl in the white dress. She caught my eyes, she was looking and me and I couldn’t help myself but just stare at her. It felt as if an eternity has passed and our eyes were still in contact. She lowered her eyes. Oh boy! At that gesture of hers I guess something clicked inside of me.  I looked for a seat and sat down.  The class was going on but I was still thinking about her. How could I possibly be so much attracted to her on the first day that I saw her? So many thoughts were rushing into my mind. I would just give a glance towards her while in the class just to figure out if she was looking at me or not. Never had I ever felt this way. The class ended and I waited for everyone else to leave so that I can see her while she went out.  I was sitting there on my chair and she gave me a glance just before stepping out of the door. Again that split second felt like an age.

College picked up pace and this thing between us kept on happening. I would wait for the night to end and the classes to begin so that I could see her the next day. You know I used to get those chills that you get when you see that someone special. We would pass brief smiles to each other and greet Hies when we crossed by but I was so shy to go and approach her. What if she took in it in a wrong sense? What if the thing that I thought was there was not actually there on her mind? All these questions made me rethink time and again whenever I tried to go and approach her. I remember I would stand in front of the mirror and rehearse on how I shall ask for her number tomorrow. That was really funny because the next day when I used to meet her I would forget all my rehearsals.

Days passed by and I had still not approached her. We were still just Hiee friends. Or I would say we were nothing more that classmates. I never told anyone about this. The days turned into months and a year passed by but I had not spoken to her about how I felt. Maybe I was too afraid to share my feelings. Maybe I was that shy guy who wouldn’t just accept his own true feelings himself. Or maybe I was just a looser who had no guts at all.

But things change and so do times and people. Our time was also about to change because it was just catching fire and the story was yet to begin.

-by Ambuj

Betrayed by God

“Betrayed by God”

The hand writes when the heart cries,

A tornado of broken feelings tries to rush through the eyes.

Heart looks for a friend to talk its condition,

But the mind says it’s a bad decision.

The lips want to pour away the pain that the heart carries,

But the heart can’t get rid of the million memories.

Never had the heart been this broken,

Never had all the hopes will taken.

Never had the soul been so cold,

But to withhold the pain never had the mind been so bold.

The heart knows that the days ahead will never shine,

No sunshine will be there and no moonlight will be mine.

The soul wants to stop the one Soulmate who’s going away,

But nothing can be done as the stars have given their say.

The very Gods that this heart believed for so long have betrayed,

Hence this love story shall be left unsaid…

-by Ambuj

The Doll in the Box

It was Monday morning of 15^th Feb, a lonely and a quite sad day for him. The Monday morning was not the reason for his dullness; the real reason was that he had to celebrate this year’s Valentine’s Day alone, without her. She had gone to visit her parents and was at her home town, whereas he was walking towards his office. He was taking heavy steps towards the building when he got a call from her. It was unusual for her to call at this time while being at her parent’s place. He got a silent chill as he realized that something was not good.

He picked up the phone with a little hesitation, “Hey there! Well it’s a pleasant surprise that you called me so early.”

“Hmm…” she replied.

This ‘Hmm...’ was a sign of danger as he further inquired, “What happened to you? All well?”

“No. Things are getting very bad” she said.

As his heart was cringing he stopped walking and said, “Can you please elaborate and not shoot puzzles?”

“Yes” she said, “Papa is not going to agree on our marriage! With every passing day he is gets more impatient. I don’t understand what I should do. My mother and grandmother have also put down their weapons as they think that papa will never agree on this marriage.”

He was listening very patiently as this was the girl he had planned on spending his life with.

She carried on after a little gulp, “I don’t understand why everyone is going against us! What wrong have we done? These questions crawl in my mind all the time. What should we do?”

He had no answers to her questions as he too was a boy who was in love with this girl. He didn’t have the right answers which would fill the blank space in her heart. Still he had to tell her something. He couldn’t just leave her on her condition.

And he answered her question with a question, “Sweetheart! Do you know what all these people are doing?”

“No…” she said with a little hope in her voice.

“They are just bringing us closer” he said, “I sometimes think about all the toys that I used to own as a kid. I don’t remember any of them but just one. And the toy I remember is the one that I actually never had!”

She was very seriously listening to his words.

He continued, “When I was a kid I once got sick and my dad took me to our family doctor. The specialty of that doctor was that he had very unique toys that he would let his child patients play with so that he could distract them from the whole process of the checkup. Now that day he gave me a box. It was a grey metal box with flower like designs engraved on it and when I opened the box a little plastic doll with a pink frock would start dancing on a melodious tune. I liked that box more that any other toy that I ever had.”

“Then”, she said.

He laughed and replied, “Then? Then I remember is that I never owned that box. And what my parents tell me is that I cried so much for it. My father tried to purchase one for me but it was not available in the market. At least this is what dad tells me!

Anyways, Slowly I realized that I will never have that box but I waited for the next time when I’ll go to that Doctor and see that little doll dance.”

She said, “Interesting story, but why are you telling me this?”

He said, “I am trying to explain to you the essence and the beauty of the unachievable. Now just understand, I never had that box as one of my own but the craving of having it was what made it so special. I had so many toys but all I could remember is the one which was in front of me but was unachievable. I even remember the color and design of the box, the doll, the doll’s dress and even the music. The bond that was there in between me and that thing was what made it so memorable for me. The doctor and my parents would stop me from taking that box with me every time that I visited the doctor but every time when they stopped me, they were actually increasing my craving for that box. Not being able to achieve the box was what made it so special!

Now just put yourself in my place and put me in the place of that box. What all people are doing right now is to push both of us apart. But that is just adding fuel to the fire. It is just making us realize that what we really mean to each other and how important it is for us to be together. Nothing so beautiful and serene can ever be achieved so easily and if you achieve it with no fight, it’s simply not worth it!”

His words were making sense to her and a smile had started appearing on her face.

“Yes, you are right! We will actually understand the true worth of our relationship only after we earn it. And that is what we are doing right now, earning it! Each time when we head for a fight we’ll stop and remember these days when we fought for our love.” she exclaimed.

“Exactly and on the contrary we’ll have awesome stories that we will tell to our children and grandchildren. Isn’t it?”

Both their minds were at peace now and they were heading to a wonderful day. He was not sure that from where these thoughts came from, but it was real and impactful.

“OK then, I’ll go now. My boss is waiting for me with a whip!” he said.

She giggled, “Hey but in your story you never got the box with the doll. What do you have to say about that Mr. Philosopher?”

He smiled and replied, “Well, the doll is not in the box now, she is out of it and this time no one can stop me from taking her home with me!”

by Ambuj