Pages from a Father's Journal

Blessed!!

Oh God! I can’t thank you enough for being too generous to me. Today you gave me your best blessings by making me the fortunate father of this beautiful child. I can’t really thank you enough for this best gift ever. He looks so cute, he fits into my hands. He is so beautiful and fragile. His skin is so soft; I think rose petals must be harder than his creamy skin. His face! It is so radiant; I just can’t take my eyes off his face. His little eyes barely open, but I don’t know why I can see my entire future in them. His squishy nose looks like a little fluffy bun. His lips look like pieces of cherry and his cheeks, Oh God! They are like two soft wool balls, the nurse keeps on telling me not to touch them but I can’t resist from kissing his cheeks. I also took him in my arms. He was looking at me as if he knows me, as if he knows that we share common blood and as if he knows that he is a part of me. I just can’t let him off my sight. I don’t feel hungry or sleepy; I just want to be with him, always! Oh God! I can’t get over with it, am I going crazy with happiness?

Happy days keep on coming!

He has started responding to sound. He recognizes sounds and people, he laughs and crawls and plays with me. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but he loves riding on my back. He is an angel. I hold his hand and try to teach him walk. He is so responsive! He holds my finger tight and tries hard to walk on his feet. He is adorable. I feel bad when he falls and cries, it makes my eyes wet but I know that he must learn to get up. I just love him like crazy!

First step

My son is now going to school, I am really happy. His teachers say that he is really bright in studies and other activities. I and my wife keep on discussing that how cue he looks in that little school uniform. Things are going great God; please let it be the same forever. Bless my son; help him be a better man than his father. He has a lot of potential, I can see that.

Anything for you

My son is growing up now. He understands things; he goes to school, eats on his own, does his homework on his own and manages his chores himself. He is making me a proud father. He has also started making demands now… Hahaha! He sees new things on the television and new toys that his friends have and demands the same from me. Sometimes it is difficult to manage the budget though! My wife sometime tells me that I should not fulfill all his demands, even I feel the same sometimes but then I recall my childhood. I didn’t get a lot of things that I deserved or needed as a child, may be the circumstances were not good then. But today I won’t let my child follow the same fate as mine. So what if I have to cancel my personal shopping expenses?  The old scooter is not that bad yet; a few services would make it fit for the go, I don’t need a car yet! So what my wife and I had to cancel our holiday plans on our anniversary? We have had many anniversaries but we have only one child. Nothing is more important than the smile on your face son. You live your life to the fullest son, which is all I desire. I love you!

Hiccups

Why is this happening God? What wrong have we done? Everything was going fine; my son was a bright kid, why is he loosing focus now? He is not doing well at school. His teachers tell me that he holds a lot of potential but he is very careless. I spoke to him several times on this topic, but the matter of fact is that he himself doesn’t know what is going wrong. What shall I do to bring him back on the right track? I am so confused and tensed. I know that he is not into any bad habits, but why is he going astray? Please show us the right path, please point him to the correct direction

Find Your World

He is all grown up now. He or shall I say we learnt the solutions to my son’s problems with time. I now understand that they were passing clouds. I can now see the silver lining bright and clear. My son is becoming a man now, he is going to college. He is going to follow his passion and make his own world. What could be more delightful for me than this? Although it is difficult to manage his expenses now but I want to accompany him as far as possible! I want him to be proud of me being his father as I am proud of him being my son. He is happy, but I can see the sadness behind his smiling face. The sadness is of going away from us. He knows that there is no turning back from where he is standing. He knows that now he will have to bid goodbye to his home. I can see the sadness that he holds in his eyes. He thinks that he can dodge me by putting a smile on his puppy face. Son! Don’t be mistaken, I am your father. I have known you more than you have known yourself. There’s no shame in being sad, it shows that how much you love us and your smile, it shows that how tuff you are. Go live your dreams; be happy, I am always there for you. And the sadness in your eyes, Son I share the same in my heart.

Fly High

Thank you God! It’s all your grace that my son got his dream job. He is a working man now. His hard work paid off. I am happy for him. I can see my success in his achievements. His one step towards success is like my leap towards serenity.  I can now see my reflection in him. It has always been there but now, it’s crystal clear. The way he thinks, talks, eats, sleeps, makes his bed are so similar to my ways. I feel as if I am living a second life. I feel like God has gifted me my twenties back to achieve a little more and live life once again. I spend sleepless nights when he is coming to visit us the next day. I often wonder that isn’t this the same feeling that I experienced when he was about to be born? He is like a best friend to me where I don’t need to speak anything for him to understand. This bond has now grown from being a blood relation, this bond is now serene, it’s sacred and it’s above what words can explain. I love you son and I know that you love me too! I see myself in you and I pray that one day your child gives you the same pleasure so that you can understand how blessed I am to have you as my child.

by - Ambuj

The Invention of Apology

In the ancient times, the world was not as organized and cultured as we see it today. There was no code of conduct that humans would follow. It was sheer chaos. Riots, violence and non-compliance were everywhere. The people were not happy with this state of chaos and wanted to get rid of it but it was of no use. No matter how deeply and intensely two people loved each other they would finally end up fighting and getting separated. They would get this urge, this zeal to finish the quarrel but it would never happen. They were genetically built up this way. Two people would fall in love and then fight and separate due to disagreements. Things were really bad, as the population was increasing and the quarrels were changing to battles and humanity was suffering as a whole.

When all this was happening, far away in the Indus valley a group of saints were trying to find a cure for this disease of intolerance and defiance. Decades passed but they were not able to find the cure. Humanity on the other hand was on the verge of extinction. The saints knew that whatever they had to do, they had to do it fast. They were running short of time. The High-saint smelled the risk of extinction and decided to travel to the Himalayas with two of his disciples, Kshama and Daata. Kshama was a naughty young boy but was intellectually very smart whereas Daata was a healthy boy with a solid built but was very short tempered. Kshama could master difficult looking tasks with his brains whereas Daata would break huge objects with his bare hands. The only reason the high-saint took them as accomplices was because of their unique abilities, Kshama for his intellect and Daata for his strength.

While they were half the way to the top of the Himalayas, the three of them decided to take rest. While Daata was sleeping Kshama was disturbing him. He would just poke him and run and would laugh when Daata would ask him not to do so. The high-saint was observing this very closely. He was sure that eventually Daata would lose his cool and wanted to see that how would Kshama handle the situation. It was not long when Daata really got furious on Kshama. He slapped Kshama so hard that he almost fainted, but Daata would not stop. He was again going to hit Kshama who was already down when Kshama joined his hands and in a very deep voice said the words, “Kshama... Kshama… Kshama…”  The high-saint was surprised to see that Daata has stopped his hand in the air, he was not hitting Kshama but he helped Kshama get up. The high-saint was just amazed to see the power of the feeling, the sheer utter of the word ‘Kshama’ saved Kshama from the wrath of Daata. This is when the high-saint realized that the world can be won and turned into a better place with this compassionate feeling. Kshama and Daata were friends but they started fighting as per their genetic engineering, but the feelings put by Kshama in his own name empowered the single word so much that it cleared the anger and reinstated the friendship between Daata and Kshama. The high-saint and his two accomplices then went to the top of the Himalayas to master this feeling. Upon their return they taught the usage of this compassion to the world and it resulted in the restoration of love and harmony in the world.

Today also many times we have quarrels with our loved ones. Many times we think, OK now this is it! I am not gonna see his face for the rest of my life. But the urge of togetherness pushes us to apologize and we end up making things right just by saying 3 words – ‘I am SORRY!’. Apologizing to someone and accepting someone’s apology is the greatest sense that man has ever mastered. It brings people closer and makes you feel light.

So guys, don’t be afraid to apologize to someone, it makes you bigger in their heart. And don’t be a miser in accepting apologies as it makes you bigger in your own heart!

by Ambuj